Homestudy...Part 2

My cell phone rang on Monday from area code 936....which is always an exciting moment because that's the area code of our agency, and that must mean that someone is calling us about our homestudy....Sure enough, it was. The caseworker said she tried to call us last week and left a message on our home phone, but we never got it. Well, at least it was nice to know that she did attempt to call us in the timeframe they said she would :)

We talked for a few minutes and I shared a VERY short synaposis of where we've been, what we've gone through, etc. to get us to where we are today. She couldn't believe it (no one ever can!). So...on to the homestudy. She wanted to know if LSSS had closed our file yet. I told her that I had been told that they had, but they weren't supposed to. Apparently, when transfering your file, the state has very strict guidelines and regulations that have to be followed. Is anyone surprised to find out that they weren't?!? Well, we aren't. Basically, when transfering from one agency to another, the state requires the first agency to close the file on let's say May 10, 2008 at 12:00 noon, and the new agency has to open the file on May 10, 2008 at 12:00 noon. Basically so that there is no lapse in the file.

So, how does that affect us? If LSSS closed our file, then our homestudy would be invalid and a completely new homestudy would need to be done. If our file is still open, the caseworker would just need to do an addendum to our current homestudy, since it is so recent.

Kimberly said she would contact LSSS to find out if we were open or closed and she would call us back to schedule the homestudy/addendum. Of course, we were hoping that an addendum is all that would be required, but we told Kimberly that we would do whatever was necessary to make things happen, even if we had to redo the homestudy.

Kimberly called yesterday and said that she went to the Director, discussed our situation, and the Director said that she could just do the addendum for us. PTL!

Our meeting with Kimberly is scheduled for next Friday, March 23rd at 2pm. We are more than anxious to get this completed so that we can finally be on the matching list.

We continue to be blessed in everything that we do with H4G. They have truly taken us into their family and gone above and beyond what we could've imagined. We are so thankful for how God has worked through them.

"This is my doing." (I Kings 12:24)

It has been such a comfort to know that whatever concerns me, concerns Christ too. That my weakness needs His strength and that my safety lies in letting Him fight for me. God is the God of circumstances. We did not get to this place by accident. We are exactly where He meant for us to be.

Mother's Day

With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women...whether they are in the midst of infertility treatments or have come to terms with the inability to carry their own child. You cannot get away from it...there are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law. I was even wished a "Happy Mother's Day" from a 16 year old boy this evening at Krogers. I guess I look like a mom?

Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I know will relish in once I am a mother. However, it is very painful while I am waiting for my children. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.

I had hoped that this year would be different....but another year has passed and still no children in our home that call me Mama. But I have hope in the promises of My Heavenly Father and trust that next year will be different :)

I receive a newsletter every month from Bethany Christian Services, called Stepping Stones and there was a great article posted that I wanted to share:

This Much I Know Is True (by Autumn Schoeck)

*There are many things I don't know about God's plan for my life, but I have learned to be content. I believe His willf or each of us is that we will be content - content with our life, our surroundings, and every aspect of who we are. ~ Philippians 4:11-13

I have learned to be content because this much I know is true!

*Difficult times will come. John 16:33b

*We can be confident that God does not intend difficult times to defeat us. In difficult times, His purpose for our lives is always good. Romans 8:28

*The longer we endure difficult times, the more patient, humble, and trusting we become. Romans 5:3-5

*Time is but a fraction of eternity. Miracels are what they are because they don't happen every day. Give your miracle some time. Remember, God is able to do far more than we ask or imagine! Ephesians 3:20-21

*We cannot predict how and when God will bless us with the miracle He has in mind for us. To some, the miracle may come in the birth of a baby, to others in the adoption of a child, and to others in contentment as a family of two. In the meantime, sit back in confidence and watch your life unfold. Psalm 31: 14-15a

For those of us Moms in waiting...may you be encouraged by these verses and thoughts...and may you hearts be full of peace and confidence this weekend, and in the days/weeks/months to come!

On to the next stage....

Yes! We are on to the next stage! We have completed all the requirements (paperwork, classes, etc.) to officially have our file transfered from our old agency! YEAH!

We took our last class last week and our file was scheduled to be handed off to a caseworker yesterday. Once the caseworker is assigned, they will come out and meet with us and since our homestudy is current, they should be able to just attach an addendum to it and re-submit to the state.

We are in the process of creating our lifebook ~ which is basically a scrapbook of our life....pictures of us, our families, our friends, our house, pets, etc....this will be submitted along with our homestudy when we are being considered as a possible match. I've been stressing out about the lifebook....I think,no I know, I am making it much more stressful than it needs to be.

Again, the experience as a whole our agency, H4G, has just been amazing. It's such a stark difference from our last agency. You know how oftentimes you don't realize how bad something was, until you see how good something is.....well, that is definitely the case with us. There have been plenty of times when we have said...What if we had found them first? We'd probably have had children in our home a long time ago. But the thing is, we didn't find them first. We went through a lot of trying times to get to where we are now. Nothing is an accident. Nothing is in vain. God is in control. He is with us on our journey and we have learned more about ourselves than we thought possible. We also know that without a doubt, after all this time, that God has called us to do this, and because of that, it has been worth it.

Thanks so much for all your encouragement, prayers and support....stay tuned :)

Exception.....

All of our paperwork has been submitted, all forms have been signed and returned, all questions have been answered, all "t"s have been crossed, all "i"s have been dotted....we just have one last class that we are required to take for our adoption for us to have a green light to move forward.

The staff (or what I would like to call family) at H4G have just been wonderful and have been so easy to work with. They truly are our advocates and each person that we have talked to about our journey to date, has been so apologetic. They can't believe that we stuck with it.

The next adoption class is scheduled for May 15th, but the trainer at H4G found out about how long we have been waiting, and that this was literally the only thing holding us back, that they contacted us to let us know that she was more than willing to do a one-on-one training with us so that we wouldn't have any further delays! PTL! WOW!

So, we scheduled our training for Wednesday morning and we're more than thrilled to see some light at the end of this 16th month! Once the class is completed, we will have a caseworker assigned to us who will basically review our current homestudy and sign off on it. Then we should be all set and ready to go. Again, this is when the true waiting begins....we could get a call the very next day or it could take weeks or months. Either way, we are confident that God is working and that His timing is perfect.

Thanks so much for all your encouragement, prayers and support. Check back in when you can ... who knows what you'll find the next time around.

Before & After

We have been enjoying some beautiful spring weather here in Houston ~ very unusual for us! So, this weekend, we finally got out and worked in the flower beds.

Before............

.....and After......

We planted Jasmine, Hibiscus, Yellow Bells, Lantana, Vincas, Petunias, Zinnias, Verbena, Marigolds, Coleas, Mandevilla, Plumeria, Blue Haze, and Geraniums. (I think that covers it....don't you?!) Yes, we put in quite a bit and we'll be sure to update as it flourishs.

Some might be surprised that I'm a flag junkie, but indeed, it is true! I have the small garden flags, as well as the large "pole" flags, for just about every occasion, holiday and/or season. For those who know me all to well, you won't be surprised to know that every flag is designed by my favorite artist, Mary Engelbreit. Isn't this one just too cute?!

100th Post!

Happy 100th Post (to myself, I guess!) and to my faithful journey walkers.

We attended our orientation meeting on Tuesday night. We didn't learn anything new, but it was nice to meet some staff members of the agency and to be able to stay behind and just talk to them for a little bit. We were more than encouraged by their spirits and genuine enthusiasm to have us join their "family". One distinct difference in the two agencies ~ both said that they were Christian based, but Homes4Good is definitely walking the walk! Our trainer said that they always open up every session in prayer...what a blessing!

We were supposed to attend a class for adoptive parents last night, but it has been rescheduled for May 15th. It was a bit disappointing to know that we have to wait another month to finish up our classwork, but what's another month, right? I mean, it's not like we're counting, or anything. (16+ months)

We have completed all but one item on our paperwork transfer checklist. Our goal is finish up our Narratives (yes, more questions to answer) this weekend. We are hoping that the agency will not put our case on hold, while we wait for the final class, and that we can move forward with getting assigned a caseworker. Once a caseworker has been assigned, he/she will come out to meet us and review our current homestudy. Since our homestudy is so recent (just finalized in January), they just want us to review it and make any changes/additions that we might like. This was good news to hear, because there were a few things we wanted to see changed, that our former agency was not willing to work with us on. We are so glad that the Lord led us to Homes4Good.

As for other news, we're looking forward to a beautiful weekend here in Houston ~ they are few and far between! We'll finally be able to get out into the yard and work on the flower beds. I love this time of year. Then Saturday night, we'll be having our 2nd Guitar Hero 3 party. Last weekend, we had 10 people over to play....not sure how many will come this weekend. I'm not a huge "gaming" fan, I leave that to Michael...BUT this game is so fun and addictive....and even more so as adults. It's a fun way to relax (unless you're super competitive ~ ha!), have a good time and listen to all the classic rock music. I hope that y'all have a great weekend, wherever you may be.

Thanks for stopping by along the way. We so appreciate your prayers, friendship and encouragement!

Oh yeah ~ and here's a quick shout out to Sam & Amelia....Happy 1st birthday! We're so glad that you're here! We love you!

Quick Update

We are slowly but surely crossing off the checklist items, with just a few lingering. Two requirements will be completed this week: an orientation meeting on Tuesday night that every person has to attend with the agency (even though we've already done all of our paperwork ~ we're doing things backwards) and then an adoption training class on Thursday.

I remember when we did our first orientation in February of last year ~ how excited and overwhelmed we were. As I went back and re-read the post, my thoughts and feelings still ring true.

"Even with the huge packet of forms, applications, requirements, and lists of things to do, Michael & I are still so encouraged and excited about the journey the Lord is taking us down. He has truly blessed us. We believe with confidence that our children are being prepared for us, even now, as we are being prepared for them.

“Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24)

We thank God for our children and pray that they are protected until He brings them to us. While we are trusting, God is working, and in due time our faith will become sight.

It is only human to want to see before we step out on the promises of God. Yet God said to Thomas and to a long list of other doubters, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)."

Still Believing........

Latest Statistics

The Texas Department of Family & Protective Services (TDFPS) just released their 2007 annual report. To most people, this is just another report ~ full of numbers, percentages, facts, diagrams, and words ~ that you wouldn't even know about, let alone read.....except for people like us ~ parents waiting for their children who are in the custody of the TDFPS system.

Here are just some of the facts sited in the report:

Number of Child Abuse/Neglect investigations reported in 2007 in Texas: 278,303
Number of Child Abuse/Neglect investigations reported in 2007 in Harris County: 50,411

33 in 1000 children were allegedly abused in Houston in 2007.

Number of children awaiting adoption in Texas as of 12/31/07: 6,232
Average waiting time for adoption: 11.6 months

Where are children in TX DFPS care?
....of the 28,904 children in DFPS substitute care on 8/31/07
12,257 children were placed in Child Placing Agency Foster Homes
8,801 children were placed in Kinship (other-family) Care
2,699 children were placed in DFPS Foster Homes
1,438 children were placed in Residential Treatment Centers
861 children were placed in basic child care
855 children were in pending adoption homes
712 children were placed in emergency shelters
495 children were placed in other types of foster care (such as camps, maternity homes, juvenile detentions, state hospitals, etc)
419 youth over the age of 18 "aged-out" of the system.

Number of children in Foster Care in Harris County: 6,329

Number of Foster Homes in Harris County: 69
Number of Foster/Adoptive Homes in Harris County: 145
Number of Adoptive Homes in Harris County: 79
**************************************************

All of these numbers are distressing, on so many levels. What does it say about our society today that in just one year there were over a quarter of a million abuse/neglect cases reported in Texas alone?

What about the sheer shock in the high number of children in foster care in Harris County and the lack of foster or foster/adoptive homes?

Before Michael & I started on our journey to adopt through the foster care system, we were oblivious to the statistics I just posted above. Sure, we knew that there were lots of kids in foster care, but had no idea of just how many kids and how few people who are able or willing to help.

It is so hard to understand then, after reading this report, why it has taken us almost 16 months to get to where we are now and yet, we still do not have children in our home. Where are our children? What type of care are they receiving? Oh how we are praying for them now. Those last set of numbers are frightening to try and wrap our minds around. There are 6,300 children in foster care in our county right now and only 69 foster homes and 145 foster-to-adopt homes. It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out that the odds are not in the favor of the children.

There is something seriously wrong with our foster care system...and both Michael & I feel called to make a difference. We want to see things changed. We want to see parents and families reunited and healed, and when that isn't possible, we long to see children placed in the safe arms, open hearts and secure homes of other families to love, protect and nurture them.

Through the process of building our family, we have met wonderful people who feel just as passionate about changing the system as we do. Won't you pray for us and with us, as we seek out ways to make a difference in the lives of these children....and maybe, just maybe, you might find it in your heart to help out too!

Beauty

Traditions...oh how I love them! We ventured out for our annual bluebonnet photo shoot with the girls today. We didn't have the best choice of flowers this year, but I think once you see the beauties in these pics, you won't even notice!





Head on over to CC's World for more pictures of the day!

Checklist....Take 2!

Here we go again.....another checklist. Every agency has their own requirements and documentation, so I have been going through the new checklist and thankfully have been able to mark off quite a few documents that we already have completed. I just need to scan and email them to the paperwork guru at H4G. Of course, there are a few documents that weren't required at LSSS, but thankfully they're just one page documents to be signed.

This is one time that I can honestly say how thankful I am to my OCD on staying organized!!!! LSSS is being rather difficult (that's a nice way of putting it) in releasing information to H4G. Our caseworker offered to photocopy our entire file and send to H4G, but that's against LSSS' policies. They won't even release any of the information to us personally, which I find to be quite ridiculous, since we were the ones who provided them the confidential information. Robyn is in agreement with us, but apparently our case has become quite a battle...and they don't want to help us out. So......I certainly am thankful that I made a copy of every single piece of paper that was sent to LSSS....and thankfully, H4G is more than happy to accept our copies!

So far our overall experience with H4G has just been wonderful. Sometimes you don't realize how bad something was, until you experience something positive...and that's how it's been for us in dealing with H4G. From the way that each person cheerfully answers the phone, to the time the Director spends with us on the phone, to the quick turn around on voicemail and email messages, to the attitudes of each person we've come in contact there. It's been very refreshing, especially in light of all that we endured with LSSS.

New Look....

I've been messing around with the look of our blog....what do you think?

I'm not pleased with the limitations that Blogger has and I refuse to pay someone to design a blog for me...when I know that I can do it myself...can't I?!?!

Update

Yes, we actually have an update:

1. We spoke to the attorney and he was fantastic! He was really encouraging to us and immediately recommended that we transfer our file to a different agency. He has worked with Homes4Good professionally as well as personally with adopting 5 of his children. He put us in direct contact with the director.

2. We had a great conversation with the director of Homes4Good. She had great compassion for us, apologizing for the difficult time that we've had and was very sincere in her desire to help us.

3. We made the decision to transfer our file from Lutheran Social Services to Homes4Good and mailed our application in today. Once they receive the application, they will request our homestudy and file from LSS. LSS has 10 days to provide the information to H4G. They will review the information and see what might be needed. We're hopeful that there won't be much left to provide. The director was very thorough in how they handle foster care adoptions and that they try to move as quickly as possible. She indicated that 60 days is dragging their feet! So, needless to say, that was encouraging.

4. We have not been able to get in touch with Robyn, our current case worker, to inform her of our decision. We wanted to talk to her before she received the request for our file ~ just out of courtesy and because she has been good to us. I don't believe that she'll be surprised, as she was the one who encouraged us to consider transfering our file.

So, that's where we are at, as of tonight. We'll be sure to keep you posted as we learn more. As always, we so appreciate your prayers. We definitely feel them!

Upgrade....

With great thanks to my Sweetie on my birthday, I am going from this.........





to this......




Now, if I can only figure how it works!?!

Because we can....

It seems we have been questioned recently about why we are choosing to adopt through the foster care system; why are we willing to endure the tedious, ridiculous, long days with no answers and often-times painful process; After some thought, I finally came up with a response that I'm peaceful with. "Because we can."

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families.

Psalm 68:5-6

We can parent a child from any walk of life, no matter how different from our own, because we have an extremely wealthy Father who loved us and called us His own when we had nothing. We can bring a child into our home and yes, into our family, who looks nothing like us because we know that the same has been done for us. We can risk the safety and comfort of our lives because we know that the will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot keep us. We know that our Lord is more protective of these little ones than we are and that their angels see His face even now.

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." Matthew 18:10

Our home is not perfect. Our bank statement is not much to look at. We disagree. We struggle. We cry. We doubt. But we also love. We smile. We fight for what we believe in. We have faith when we have nothing else. What we lack in worldly wealth, we more than compensate for in Godly love. We know - and we can tell little ones who do not - that the Lord is our provider, our strength and our shield. We know there is hope when the faith runs out. We know there are little ones lying in bed and longing even now for a home. Not a big or fancy one, just one that is safe and one that promises to be there tomorrow and in the days and years to come. As surely as we keep putting one foot in front of the other because we believe we will one day be freed from these chains, so we know all too well that there are little ones going through each day with the hope of a rescuer, a chance at life outside the walls that are closing in on them now, burning in their little hearts. And while we cannot give them Heaven, we most certainly can give them a home. And while we are so far from being Jesus, we can be His hands and feet, His arms and lips to little ones who might find Him no place else.

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?" Romans 8:22-24

We know not what tomorrow holds. We have no idea where the Lord is leading, but we are sure that it will be great. We do not begin to presume to know what is on His agenda today or next week. We are excited to see how the Lord will use this time in our lives to lead us to His will for us. We are giving the Lord our all, because it has always been His anyway. We will step out of His way and watch as His plan unfolds in our lives and the lives of little ones longing for a home tonight. We believe the plan He has for us is far greater than any we can imagine, because we live a life we could have never dreamed of. The Lord God Almighty is worthy of our praise. He is attentive to our prayers and we continually storm the throne of grace with confidence, that His will might be done in our lives. We again covet your prayers for us, as we do our best to stand firm against the pressures of this world in an effort to bring God glory somehow in our simple lives, the lives He gave to us. We are mindful of how brief this life is and we are determined to make the most of it, that when our time comes to be adopted as sons, for these bodies to be redeemed, that we might have no regrets. At any cost, we ask God to be glorified. Here. Now. In our lives. In the lives of little children we have never met. In the days and weeks to come. Forever. Because we can. Because Jesus said so. :)

"Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there. Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?" Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

Matthew 19:13-29 ~ as shared by Emily

No title for a very long post....

I'm looking at the computer screen, and honestly, I can't even come up with a title for this blog entry.....so does that tell you anything?

We were supposed to have (which by now means, we did not have) a training class on Saturday. It was mandated by the state that all foster/adoptive parents had to complete this training by March 1st, which was Saturday. Our agency only informed us of the new mandated class on the 19th of February, so we didn't have much time. They quickly put something together to get us trained on the 1st. Well, at 8:30am Saturday morning, we received a call cancelling the class. The State requires the presenter to have a Master's Degree and you guessed it...our's did not. While we were not disappointed to find out we wouldn't have to spend a nice Saturday in yet another training, we were upset at the fact that now we were not in compliance with the State's regulations. Our caseworker quickly told us that we would not be at fault for this mishap, since it was the agency's fault in not getting us trained on time. Now, all this means is that we will have to take the class on another day in the near future.

We were also supposed to meet with our CW before the class. This "meeting" has been cancelled and rescheduled so many times, I don't even remember when we were first supposed to meet, but thankfully she came out to our house on Saturday afternoon. All she needed to do was deliver the Adoptive Parent Handbook for us to read......handbook?! I don't really call a 4 inch 3-ringed binder a handbook! Thankfully she trusts us to read it and didn't go through the whole book (like she is supposed to). I can't say that I was in a rush to read that handbook from cover to cover, and to be honest, it is still sitting on the dining room table where she left it.

Michael & I have been praying about what to do and how to approach things with our CW, as we have been quite discouraged with the process to date. We are now in our 15th month of our adoption process and while we knew that the process would take time, we did not anticipate this long! As I sat and talked with our CW on Saturday, some specific prayers were answered and direction was provided ~ even without her knowing and wtihout me actually having to ask these questions! Thank you Lord!


1. What is going on with our agency? CW told us that they are financially hurting, have had 4 CWs quit in the last 4 months and the remaining CWs are so overworked they don't even know what to do. This is information she probably shouldn't have shared with us, but thankful she did.

2. Why is it taking so long for us? CW once again expressed her feelings of how upset she is that it has taken us so long. She indicated to us that CPS states that a family should be matched within 3 months and 6 months at the longest. This would happen when the criteria the family has set is just unattainable, which she confirmed was not the case with us.

3. Should we consider transfering our file to another agency now that we're licensed? CW actually encouraged us to contact another agency about transfering our file. The name of the agency that she suggested JUST SO HAPPENS to be the same agency that I received a newsletter from the very same morning. I had never heard of this agency before, nor had I ever received any information from them before. Their newsletter JUST showed up in my mailbox. Of course, when I got it and read it, I didn't think twice about it, since I've signed up for so many things I've lost track. Hmmmm.....

4. What about going through CPS directly? CW said that if she had the chance to go back and work with CPS directly, she would. She said, in passing, that we could go directly through CPS and not an agency. This would greatly increase our visibility, as all cases go through CPS and are then funneled out to all the other agencies.

5. Should we consider changing our status to get more exposure? CW suggested that we change our status from adoption-only to foster-to-adopt, if even for exposure. She said it's almost like applying for a job. You put your name out there as much as possible, to gain the most exposure, in hopes that someone along the lines will see your resume enough or recognize your name, and want to know more.

6. What about contacting that attorney to get his opinion on our situation? As the CW was leaving she said - oh yeah, one more thing....did you guys ever contact the attorney that I told you about? If not, you really should.

OK....wow!

We have really become so dishearted and discouraged. We are angry...and not necessarily at the situation but more because our joy really has been robbed of us through this process. We've almost become complacent and expectant of things to not go right for us...and that is what makes us angry! With all that being said, we also know that God is in control, that everything has a purpose, that God's timing is perfect and when this is all said and done, we know that it will all be worth it....but we're not there yet. We're still in the waiting.

So, today, we woke up with a new outlook on things.

*We contacted the agency recommended and they are sending us out an application to fill out. Thankfully it's just an application and they request the remaining information from our current agency. They review our file and homestudy and tell us whether or not they accept us. They said that the process is quick (of course, the definition of "quick" has changed dramatically for us in the last year).

*We changed our status from adoption only to foster-to-adopt with our agency this morning, so that we can have more exposure to needy children in the CPS system.

*We are contacting the attorney to just get an opinion of where we are. He has personally adopted 5 children from foster care and would be a great resource.

*We are going to contact CPS to see what our options are with going directly through them. This is no easy task as I have been routed to 4 different people already this morning, without getting any information.

Please continue to pray for us. We know that God is GOOD and FAITHFUL! He is with us on this journey, but we still have tough days!

You Are Good

I think the words of this song say it all......

YOU ARE GOOD ~ Point of Grace

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight
You are good

When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned
You are good, so good
And when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are so good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I'm grateful again
'Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved
And you are good

So how can I thank You
And what can I bring
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your hands

When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul
You are still good
When the world has gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good

With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell even then it is well
You are good

So how can I thank You
And what can I bring
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your hands

First Match

Michael & I finally received our first match this week. So many emotions ran through us when we received the email with all the details on the children. For privacy reasons, I won't divulge the particulars of the children's case, but it was heartbreaking to say the least. But here is a little I can share.

3 boys (yes, 3!) under the age of 3! 3 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old. Initially, I was thinking...ok....what's one more?!

Parental rights have NOT been terminated, which meant that there was still a legal risk. This could mean that one of the birth parents could receive the children back into their care and/or a family member could still come forward and want to raise the children in their home. If we were to take them into our home, we would be their foster parents with the HOPES that the parental rights would be terminated and the children could be adopted.

All 3 boys had severe abuse and subsequently, quite a few deep emotional, physical and some medical issues.

Based on these facts, we did not feel that this was the best match for us. Now...that was not immediately decided. Michael & I prayed about it, really seeking the Lord. While it wasn't ideal for us initially, we've remained open to what God would have us do. After much prayer, we felt strongly that these were not the children that we were supposed to call our own.

It was also not an easy decision. I distinctly remember some great advice that I received from a fellow foster care adoptive mom about 6 months ago. She said, if I could give you one piece of advice, outside of seeking God's will, remember your criteria, and stick to it, because you came up with that criteria when you were not emotionally involved. Once you read these kids' stories, all of a sudden you want to throw your criteria out the window, rescue each and every one of them, and most likely take on more than you felt you could handle. BOY WAS SHE RIGHT! Immediately my heart broke for these little boys. I wanted to rush to Dallas to get them and bring them home. Of course we'll take them! Of course, we can do this! Sure, it's more than what we can handle, but maybe that's just the way it's going to be...and so on. There is also this fear that if you say "no" that you'll get a big red "X" on your file or what if another child doesn't come along that fits our criteria. All of those feelings and emotions run through me. BUT GOD!

But God......oh how I can't imagine going through this without the Lord. We are so completely under His leading, His timing, His ways. There are huge issues and questions that have to be dealt with and answered when it comes to adoption, and especially that of foster care adoption with children older than a newborn. But God....knows how it will all work out and when it does, we will rejoice! We will rejoice knowing that He had all of our days ordained before we even knew what was going on. We will rejoice because we will have a testimony to share of how He worked in ways unimaginable.

It was hard to say no to the 3 little boys, but by saying no, we were trusting in God's YES! Walking by faith sure is hard....but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bye Bye Gracie

Well, the challenge did not go as planned. Chopper just could not handle having Gracie (or any other dog for that matter) in the house. I guess since he's been the only one for 4 years, he just couldn't handle the stress. Chopper was very lethargic and almost paralyzed with fear. He refused to come out of his room, was always hiding and didn't even want to be around Michael (whom he loves). So, I had to make the dreaded call back to Penny and let her know that it just wasn't going to work out. I packed up Gracie's things and loaded her in the car. She is a perfect "car" dog....just laid there and looked at me.

I was very sad to see her go, as she definitely became more attached to me (and I, to her). I hated to give her back, as she was truly the sweetest pup I've ever been around. But in the end, it just wasn't going to work out. It's amazing how quickly you can become attached in such a short amount of time.

I hope that Gracie can find a new home soon. If any of you in the Houston area are looking for a GREAT dog, let me know and I'll put you in touch with Penny.

New Addition.....

and no...it's not what you think (I WISH!!!)

As they say, keep living while you're waiting...and that's what we're doing. As most of you know, we have a 4 yr. old lab mix, Chopper. Chopper is still very much "puppy" and has lots of energy (aka HYPER). We have been working with him and have debated on whether or not we should keep him. Now, before everyone starts bombarding this post with notes about "how dare you give away your dog, etc..." this is not the forum for it. The concern was whether or not the hyper-ness of the dog would cause issues with the kiddos when they come home. However, we did not want to let Choppper go. Everyone kept telling us that having a 2nd dog would help with calming Chopper down by giving him a playmate.

We have been looking for an older dog ~ I did NOT want to go through puppy-hood again. Been there...done that. Michael has always wanted a boxer. So on Sunday, I went to Craig's List to see what might be out there. 30 minutes later, we were driving across town to look at a dog that had been rescued and was at a local shelter. An hour later, Gracie was brought home!

Gracie is a brindle boxer mix ~ mixed with what...we're not sure. She is a year and half, completely housetrained/crate trained, healthy and up to date on everything. She has been in a foster home for 6 months (the owner of the shelter) and they were very sad to give Gracie up, but they can't keep every dog that comes their way.

Gracie is by far the sweetest and calmest dog I've ever met. She is a lover and always following me and sitting on my feet. She loves Chopper. Chopper is terrified of Gracie. It's kinda funny to watch the 2 of them. He has definitely calmed down already, but I think it's more fear than anything. Hopefully he'll get more used to her and be happy that we brought someone new on to his turf. I think it's a good testing for what's to come!

Here are a few pics. The last one is a common sight- the standoff between Gracie & Chopper. Gracie waiting for Chopper to play....Chopper waiting for Gracie to move so that he can run somewhere and hide.

Best gift ever.....

Michael surprised me at Christmas with a gift certificate to a day at the spa. I was excited about it but honestly, I didn't really know what to expect. I've had my share of pedicures and massages before, but have never been treated to "day" of it. After 3 cancellations, due to my illnesses, I decided to take a vacation day yesterday and go to the spa.

I arrive at the Hawaiian Day Spa and was greeted by the sweetest lady. I immediately felt important and valued. I was shown to my private bathroom, where I was provided a very plush robe and slippers and given a key to lock up my possessions. (What....4 hours without my cell phone?! How ever will I manage??? ~ just fine, thank you!) Here are some images to express what I was able to experience (and no...these are not of me or the spa that I visited but they accurately document the services provided)

The calming music played throughout the spa brought this picture to mind.....think that's relaxing enough?!

My massage room looked just like this....very calm, inviting and relaxing. I had the best 1 hour massage ever...and I'm more than certain I fell asleep more than once (oops!)

Off to my Vitamin C /Oxygen facial.... I have never had a facial before ~ it was awesome! I think I looked 10 years younger when I left that room (that's a good feeling since my birthday is just around the corner, and I will no longer be closer to 30 than 40!) Again, with most certainty, I nodded off at least once :)

Once my facial was completed, I was ushered off to my own personal lunch nook to enjoy one of the best club sandwiches I've ever eaten. So good in fact, that Michael & I re-visited the bakery/restaurant for lunch today.

After my wonderful lunch, I was whisked off to the pedicure/manicure arena, where I was blessed to have my cracked heels and feet rejuvenated and beautified and colored with my favorite OPI color....chick flick cherry. Now, seriously, doesn't that name just scream Court!?! Except for the hair wrap, this seriously could've been me......I'm in heaven.....

After my pedicure, I was offered Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries....yum yum!

Then one last addition....a little waxing....man did my "crews" brows need help!

I couldn't believe how wonderful the spa day had been. I also didn't realize how stressed I've been feeling. I walked out of the spa, completely relaxed, rejuvenated and feeling great...I mean...really great! I immediately called Michael and couldn't stop talking about how wonderful it was, every little detail. You could just tell from my hi-speed motor-mouthing that I was in good spirits. It seriously was one of the best gifts I've ever received. I told Michael that future gift buying for me just became really simple.....a day at the Hawaiian Day Spa.

Thanks, Sweets, for the great day of pampering. You truly made it possible for me to feel like a queen in the midst of all that is going on. I love you!

p.s. And after the spa, I went to the hair salon for a cut and highlights....talk about BEAUTIFY ME day :) I'll have to post a picture of that later.