My daughter

Dear Sweet Maggie Joy,

Happy Birthday to you! You are 2 years old today. I can't believe that you are already 2 years old.

When you came home to be with me & Daddy, you were so tiny...you snuggled perfectly in our laps and we loved every minute of it. You didn't say too many words but your smile filled the room. Now, 6 months later, you are suddenly a big girl. Everytime I look at you, I think...where did my baby go? You no longer fit in my lap, but you still snuggle just the same. You weigh 27.5 pounds and you are 34 inches tall. Your doctor says that you're petite ~ in the 25% for your age. But you seem so big to me and Daddy!

You are talking so much and trying really hard to say more each day. You love puppies, duckies, Dora, Ming-Ming (The Wonder Pets), goldfish crackers (which you call duckies), go-gurts (you won't eat yogurt out of anything but a tube). You love to hum with me when I rock you to sleep. You love to read your books, play with your babydolls, cook in your kitchen, draw on your magna-doodle, put on everyone's shoes, and you especially like your bathtime. You are really into walking everywhere now (which is great for momma's back!) and definitely Miss Independent. You love to sit up on the kitchen counters when I'm in the kitchen, either cleaning or cooking. You are always into everything :)

You are very sweet, giving lots of kisses and hugs but you are also very sensitive and have your feelings hurt easily. Daddy & I hate it when you are sad or when you cry, but we are glad that we can be there to give you the hugs and kisses when you need them.

You are now sleeping in your big girl bed. It was hard for Momma to take you out of your crib because it really meant that you were no longer a baby. You didn't like it the first night but I am so proud of you! You have done a great job sleeping in your big girl bed.

Sweet baby ~ We want you to know just how much we love you, and so thankful that Jesus allowed us to be your Momma & Daddy. We prayed for you for so long and Jesus has blessed us more than we ever thought possible.

Two years ago today, you weren't born from Momma's tummy...you were born in our hearts...and we have loved you every day of your life. Momma & Daddy love you so much, sweet Maggie Joy. We pray that the Lord Jesus will protect you and keep you, and that you will always know how much you are wanted and loved.

Neither flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
But still, miraculously, my own
Never forget for a single minute
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it!

Always & Forever,
Momma & Daddy

The blogging world...

....is just absolutely wonderful! Seriously! I am a major blog stalker (c'mon....admit it..you all are!) but every now and then you connect with a one or two fellow bloggers and you just feel that you are instant buddies!

That's how it's been with Erica. We met in the blog world on May 9th (yes, I have spent the past 15+ minutes trying to find my first post on her blog!) through our mutual friend, Jenni. I think Erica posted a comment on Jenni's blog and that's how I happened upon her blog (or something like that). I've known Jenni since she was in high school and Jenni & Erica became friends through the blog world as well (they had mutual friends) Anyhoo....it only took 8 1/2 months, but we finally met face to face today for lunch at my favorite sandwich shop, Schilleci's Deli. We commented on each others blogs, emailed each other and have talked many times on the phone, but we hadn't met each other.

It was great! It was just so neat to be able to sit down with another sister, who is walking the journey that we started 24 months ago. Erica & Colin just got licensed this past week with their agency to be foster-to-adopt parents. I know how excited they are!

The Lord calls us to be encouragers to each other, to stand in the gap for others and to pray with one another...and that's what our friendship has been about.

Hebrews 10: 23-25 says: "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

I feel so blessed to be a part of Erica & Colin's journey to building their family. We can't wait to see how the Lord shows you your miracle!

2 years ago....

2 years ago today, I started Our Adoption Journey blog. It's hard to believe that it's already been 2 years. It feels like only yesterday and then it feels like 10 years has passed. As I go back and read over my blog posts, it is clear to see the Lord's handiwork in our lives and in bringing us along on our journey to building our family. Looking back on January 24, 2007, we had no idea that 2 days later, that while the Lord placed it on our hearts to pursue adoption through the foster care system, that it was also the birth date of our sweet little Maggie. If that isn't confirmation, I don't know what is!

We have had plenty of ups and downs, laughed and cried, wondered and praised, waited patiently and impatiently! But all along the way, the Lord has been faithful and steadfast, never wavering in His love over us, His protection of Maggie and in His perfect timing to make us a family.

Many of you have been with us since the beginning, others have joined in over the past year...wherever you are today~ we celebrate this blog-versary with you. You have walked with us, prayed with us, cried with us and loved us every step of the way. We're thankful for you! Here's to many more blog posts and more wonderful blessings along the way!

Love,

Better than I thought...

The whole transition in moving Maggie into her twin size bed has honestly gone much better than I thought it would....especially after the first night of her sleeping on the floor at the door. Poor thing. But each day, naptime has gotten better and each night, she's gone to bed a little smoother.

We have a new bedtime routine. Maggie walks into her room, she flips on her super cool flower nightlight (new since the bed), she climbs up into the bed and waits for me to get some books. We read 5 books every night and she's always looking for more (but we have to stop somewhere). Now, you'll remember that Maggie was never a big "rocker", except for those occasions where she would walk over to the rocking chair and ask to be rocked. Well...that certainly has changed. After we read, she wants to be rocked. Every night. Wow...what a smart little girl...she's figured out that it will prolong the inevitable ~ having to go to sleep. Oh, but I don't mind. I love cuddling with her, rocking her, brushing her hair, kissing her cheek, and singing sweet lullabies with her humming along. It's something I cherish, since I missed those early months of rocking with her. So, if she wants to rock, Momma's gonna rock.

Success!

I checked in on Maggie @ 10:30 and to my sweet surprise, my baby was sound asleep IN HER BIG BED :) YEA! I came back into our bedroom, raisin' my hands and saying "alright...oh yeah...she's sleeping in her bed!" I was relieved.

I got up about 3am to use the bathroom, so of course, like all Momma's, I went in to check on her. I really didn't expect her to be in the bed. I was once again surprised! She was still sleeping in her bed.

6am check ~ getting ready to leave for the office, one last check. Do you know that my sweet girl was still sleeping in her bed?! I couldn't have been more proud! Now, she was hanging off the side of the bed, arm dangling, resting her body up against the guard rail...but hey...she was still in that bed!

Phone call from Michael @ 8am: "Hey Babe, guess who woke me up this morning?" I'm thinking that it was either 1) someone calling on the house phone or 2) Maggie woke up earlier than normal and was making plenty of noise heard through the monitor. He said "yeah, it was Maggie. I heard her say "Daddy" so I got up to get her, only to find her standing right next to me." That's right folks...my sweet child apparently worked on that door enough and got it opened ~ even with the childproof knob cover on it. I would like to think that maybe, just maybe, Momma didn't close the door all the way this morning and that's the only way her sweet innocent child was able to get out...yep...that's what I'm thinking...and for now, that's the story I will stick to :)

Here's to a good naptime this afternoon and an even better night tonight!

Big girl bed - night 2

Well, it's 9:25pm and I've just spent an hour trying to get Maggie settled for the night. I bought a gate rail to put on the side of her bed, in hopes that it might make her feel more secure. We read 5 books, played a game of Dora dominoes in her bed (to show her that the bed is a fun/good place) and then I rocked her. Funny thing is that most nights she doesn't want to be rocked at all. Not tonight. She fell asleep and I put her down, only to have her wake up. She followed me to the door. I went to the kitchen and the next thing I see is sweet little Maggie looking up at me. Um....ok...guess she now knows how to open that door. Hmmm....ok...so I put one of the childproof knob covers on the inside of her door; I know she can't get those open (most adults have enough trouble with them!) So, I gently took her back to her bed, kissed her goodnight and walked out to her crying.

It really does break my heart. I hate for her to cry. She's not a bedtime crier, so I know it's just because it's a change.

It's quiet now. I'm curious to see if she actually got back in the bed or if she is sleeping on the floor at the door again. I guess I'll find out in a bit....more updates later.

Big girl bed update

Well, I know you're all dying to know how the first night went in the big girl bed. Hmmm....well, I guess I should've just saved the money and thrown a pallet on the floor, because Maggie seemed to prefer that to the bed. While she was more than excited to have her new bed before bedtime, that same feeling did not transfer over to when it was actually time to go "night-night". She cried a little but got quiet pretty quickly. I was hopeful.

About an hour passed and I went to check in on her. I opened the door ever so quietly and slowly...peeking in...ummm...where is she? In the bed? nope. On the floor near the bed? nope. On the side of the bed? nope. My heart raced for a bit and then as I opened the door more, it hit me. ~ actually I hit her. Poor baby was fast asleep on the floor, up against the door. I quickly swooped her up and got her back into the bed without waking her up :)

Fast forward 5 hours to 2am.....monitor alerts us to a VERY LOUD NOISY catapillar bug toy that my sweet daughter has apparently decided to play with in the midst of her insomnia. Immediately I thought...ugh! I forgot to put that in closet before bedtime! (wasn't an issue before). So, I waited and she played and played and played. I opened the door and she was just sitting there playing. I got her another bottle and brought her back into the bed. She didn't want to stay there, so I thought, well, I'll just get in and stay with her until she falls asleep (knowing full well that she's exhausted). One hour later, she finally is fast asleep. (I wish someone could see me trying to do this) I ever so slowly begin to move my body out of her bed. Trying ever so gently to move without making a noise. Why is it when you're trying to be the most quiet that you seem to make the most noise? I roll myself out of the bed (not so gracefully) and she immediately wakes up. I tell her to go night-night and I close the door. A few cries were heard and then a thump. Yep, back on the floor again.

6am...check on her before I go to work. Same position as the first time I checked on her. Repeat steps that I did around 11pm.

Poor thing. I'm sure she is somewhat traumatized. She doesn't know what to think. She felt safe and secure in her crib. I think she almost has too much freedom, too many distractions, too many options, but she knew that if she slept by the door, Momma or Daddy would be there. As I think about it this morning, it reminds me of how we are with our Heavenly Father. Sometimes we have a lot going on; we have too many things crowding our lives/thoughts; too many options thrown at us; we just don't know what to do. So we go where we know we can be found and wait to be picked up and carried. Isn't it neat to have the love and assurance from our Heavenly Father?

Maybe tonight will be a better night for my sweet girl. But if it's not, that's ok. I'll just swoop her up and do it all over again.

Bye bye crib...hello big girl bed

Well, the inevitable happened Saturday afternoon. Maggie was awake and I went in to get her...just in time to catch her before she fell out of her crib! She is VERY limber and strong. I knew it was only a matter of time that she'd figure out that she could get out. I just wanted to get her switched before she fell and hurt herself.

I didn't want to rush too soon; thinking maybe it was just because she was mad at me. However, now when we go in to get her, she straddles the crib and go to fall into us to catch her. So...yeah...time to get out of the crib.

On Sunday we ventured out to get a twin bed for Maggie. I had so much fun picking our her bedding @ Target. It's the Simply Shabby Chic Fairytale Line....sooooo cute. I'll have to take a picture once her bed is all done because you can't really tell how it looks online. Oh it's soo much fun having a girl :)

Tonight will be night #1 in the big girl bed....should be an interesting night!

6 months ago today.....

....we walked into the house for the last time as a family of 2.

....we sat around the house for 3 hours with the greatest anticipation, waiting for the doorbell to ring.

....the doorbell rang and we opened the door to the most beautiful little one we've ever seen.

....a foster mom, who loved this little one completely, quietly exited the house without being able to say goodbye.

....i fed her for the first time. i changed her for the first time. i dressed her for the first time. i played with her for the first time. i rocked her for the first time. i hugged her for the first time. i kissed her for the first time. i put her to sleep for the first time.

....I became a momma and Michael became a daddy to the most beautiful, sweet, precious blessing on earth.

Maggie Joy,

May you always know how much we longed for you, prayed for you, loved you and wanted you. May you always know that we will always be here for you, no matter what. We pray that you will always feel safe and secure, and free to be the person that you are. We pray everyday that Jesus will shine His light brightly on this house, on us, and through you. We know God has special plans for your life. We are confident that He has brought you to us, in just the right way, at just the right time. We couldn't have asked for a daughter more precious than you. Even though you came home 6 months ago today, you have always been in our hearts. You are worth it all!

We love you so much!

Momma & Daddy

Movin' on up....

My little one is movin' on up!

Today we have officially gone from this.....
to this......


Anyone need any size 3's? I've got plenty to pass along :)

In the best interest of the child....

We were successful! We FINALLY found a play therapist that would see Maggie. She is the only one in all of Harris & Montgomery Counties that would even consider seeing her. We got the call yesterday and we saw her tonight.

Rebecca was very sweet with Maggie and I instantly liked her. She took great interest not only in Maggie and observing her, but she really REALLY listened to me. Sometimes, as the foster/adoptive parent, we're not heard. Our opinions don't matter. Our feelings aren't taken into consideration. Our observations aren't considered....even though we are the ones who are caring for these children 24/7, and everyone else observes for 1 hour a month. I was listened to tonight.

Rebecca started off saying that in all her years of counseling, she has never seen a 2 year old. She said there honestly isn't a lot that can be done with someone of Maggie's age, and even more so, with her development. For example: Maggie has a limited vocabulary. Sure she can communicate in a lot of ways, but she can't speak in complete sentences (which is what most therapists require...and understandably so). But she knew that CPS needed Maggie to see a therapist and she wasn't going to say no. So, I asked her if CPS gave her any information on Maggie's case and she gave that smile and the look...that look that I know all too well...I've given it quite a few times myself. No...no info. So, she asked me why CPS wanted Maggie to be in play therapy. I explained to her that it started off with the fact that Maggie had such strong reactions after visits with her birth mother, that indicated that there was great trauma in her short life. Rebecca said - well, if her birth mother's rights are set to be terminated in March, why does the birth mom still have visits? Good question! I told her that everyone was in agreement that the visits should be suspended but the judge said that a therapist needed to say that it was in the best interest of the child to have visits suspended. Rebecca looked at me and said, "Well, there won't be any more visits. From what you've told me, it is most definitely not in the best interest for Maggie to have a visit with her birth mom." End of story.

Praise Jesus! Seriously, I almost fell out of seat and almost started crying (but I composed myself). Michael & I prayed before we left that God would just allow the truth to be seen and accepted by Rebecca...and He did just that! It was that simple. Rebecca said that she takes what a foster/adoptive parent says with great consideration and she felt that everything that I shared about Maggie's case and her birth mother's situation, deemed that visits cease.

She went as far as to say that should a visit be scheduled before her report gets filed, to call her on her personal cell phone and she will make sure that the visit doesn't take place.

I can't begin to tell you the relief that came from this session. It is comforting to know that my sweet daughter will not have to endure any more traumatic visits and the aftermath of them. It is absolutely heartbreaking to try and comfort my baby from the trauma of her past, after a visit with the abuser. It is so wrong on so many levels.

I can rest tonight knowing that my baby is sleeping soundly in her crib ~ safe, secure, happy and loved...and that is what is in the best interest of MY child.

Hearing Results

Just wanted to give you a quick update on the hearing today. It was a very positive hearing today. Here are the highlights:

1. Maggie's attorney really showed her "bull-dog" side today and fought hard on Maggie's behalf. She presented 50 facts to back up her appeal to have rights terminated. Judge court ordered a hair-follicle drug test, which mom has never had to do before.
2. Corey, Maggie's CPS caseworker, was very impressive ~ didn't miss a beat...had an answer for every question, spoke with authority in regards to the case, and knew every aspect of the case inside and out. He presented a lot of facts and made it very clear that mother's rights should be terminated.
3. Patti, Maggie's CASA worker, provided our diary of Maggie's behavior after visit with mom, as well as all the testimony that she has gathered as the investigator on the case.
4. Judge asked mom lots of questions but mom had no answers. Mom was unable to back up one piece of information she provided.
5. Judge did not suspend visitations, however, did order that mom see a licensed therapist before another visit could take place. This therapist would meet with mom to determine if she should have any further visits. So, even though the visits weren't suspended, it doesn't mean that any further visits will take place.
6. Everyone on Maggie's side felt that had the therapy already taken place with mom and therapist, that rights would have been terminated today. However, the court has to be sure that every effort has been given to the mother to pass/fail every task given to her, before they will terminate rights.
7. No JURY TRIAL!!!! PTL! It will be a bench trial, which means it's all up to the judge.
8. Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing is scheduled for March 16!

We are so thankful for all your prayers and support. It's not over and I'm sure there will still be a few more emotional roller coasters along the way, but we are confident that God is in control and that His will is being done.

Much love ~ Court, Michael & Maggie :)

Pre-trial Tuesday

The pretrial for the termination of Maggie's birth mother's rights is scheduled for tomorrow (Tues) morning @ 9:30am. We covet your prayers for all those involved in tomorrow's hearing: Maggie's attorney, CPS caseworker, her CASA advocate, our agency caseworker, and most importantly, the judge. We are praying for the judge sees the facts clearly, rules wisely and truly has Maggie's best interest at heart.

We are claiming:

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory." Ephesians 3:20-21

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." John 16:24

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

"The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul." Psalms 143:8

We will be sure to update the blog as soon as we know anything tomorrow. Thanks for your love, friendship and prayers as you travel on this journey with us.

Much love,

Hair Day

When you become a Momma, your idea of getting your hair done changes.....

Bribery....

Who knew that bribing a 23 month old with a wipey, would make her eat her lunch?!

Well, this momma knows it now :)