First Match

Michael & I finally received our first match this week. So many emotions ran through us when we received the email with all the details on the children. For privacy reasons, I won't divulge the particulars of the children's case, but it was heartbreaking to say the least. But here is a little I can share.

3 boys (yes, 3!) under the age of 3! 3 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old. Initially, I was thinking...ok....what's one more?!

Parental rights have NOT been terminated, which meant that there was still a legal risk. This could mean that one of the birth parents could receive the children back into their care and/or a family member could still come forward and want to raise the children in their home. If we were to take them into our home, we would be their foster parents with the HOPES that the parental rights would be terminated and the children could be adopted.

All 3 boys had severe abuse and subsequently, quite a few deep emotional, physical and some medical issues.

Based on these facts, we did not feel that this was the best match for us. Now...that was not immediately decided. Michael & I prayed about it, really seeking the Lord. While it wasn't ideal for us initially, we've remained open to what God would have us do. After much prayer, we felt strongly that these were not the children that we were supposed to call our own.

It was also not an easy decision. I distinctly remember some great advice that I received from a fellow foster care adoptive mom about 6 months ago. She said, if I could give you one piece of advice, outside of seeking God's will, remember your criteria, and stick to it, because you came up with that criteria when you were not emotionally involved. Once you read these kids' stories, all of a sudden you want to throw your criteria out the window, rescue each and every one of them, and most likely take on more than you felt you could handle. BOY WAS SHE RIGHT! Immediately my heart broke for these little boys. I wanted to rush to Dallas to get them and bring them home. Of course we'll take them! Of course, we can do this! Sure, it's more than what we can handle, but maybe that's just the way it's going to be...and so on. There is also this fear that if you say "no" that you'll get a big red "X" on your file or what if another child doesn't come along that fits our criteria. All of those feelings and emotions run through me. BUT GOD!

But God......oh how I can't imagine going through this without the Lord. We are so completely under His leading, His timing, His ways. There are huge issues and questions that have to be dealt with and answered when it comes to adoption, and especially that of foster care adoption with children older than a newborn. But God....knows how it will all work out and when it does, we will rejoice! We will rejoice knowing that He had all of our days ordained before we even knew what was going on. We will rejoice because we will have a testimony to share of how He worked in ways unimaginable.

It was hard to say no to the 3 little boys, but by saying no, we were trusting in God's YES! Walking by faith sure is hard....but I wouldn't have it any other way.