Randomness

This post will be all over the place....you've been warned.

*I've been in a blogging funk for the past 2 weeks. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm too tired to remember the funny things to write, or too stressed to write down the hard times. Either way, I've been in a funk.

*Last Friday night, my friend, Jess, and I surprised our friend, Joc, for her birthday. You want to talk about challenging. Between the phone calls, emails, texting, between me, Jess, Joc's mom and sister ~ I was beginning to wonder if it was actually going to happen. But it did ~ and we totally surprised her. It was just so nice to sit at a table, just the 3 of us...to be able to have a conversation without interruption (except for our bouts of laughter). Happy Birthday, Joc. Sure do hope that you have had a wonderful time celebrating your birthday. Praying that this next year is just beyond all that you could hope for!

*2 more little kiddos in our lives are one step closer to being out of foster care and with their forever families. We are so happy for Tiger and Hollis and their sweet families. It's been so neat to be on the other end and encouraging those who are coming up behind us! Praying that many more families will see the joy that it is to call one of these children your own and feel compelled to move forward to expanding their families!

*Our CFO came in for a week from our Paris office. It was my first time to meet him. It's a bit strange when your boss is younger than you! But he was great and we got along really well. Even though I am confident in my skillset and what I bring to my job, I was happy to hear that he was pleased with my work and the job that I am doing. Always nice to hear "job well done."

*We have a family member ~ 14 week old miniature dachshund named Buddy. There were 2 puppies left. I immediately wanted one of the pups but the other pup wanted Maggie. They say that your pet will pick you and indeed he did. Their personalities are quite similiar ~ fiesty, fast, never ceasing, but extremely sweet. So, we have been in puppy mode for a few weeks now and overall, it has been relatively easy. There have been a few moments where I was reminded why we didn't have a dog for a while now ~ but Maggie's happy! She and Buddy became best friends fast.

* Michael celebrated his 2nd Father's Day this year. Each year just gets a little sweeter. Maggie and I got up early, made his favorite breakfast and enjoyed our day together. Maggie made a really cute card for Daddy @ school and he couldn't have been more proud. Lots of laughter, playing and relaxing that day. Oh how I love to hear Maggie playing with her Daddy. They truly are quite the pair.

* All the siblings and children were invited over to my sister & brother in law's (Lesley & Bobby) new house for lunch. Chaotic but the kids always have so much fun together. We had a great lunch and loved seeing their new home. We couldn't be happier for them.

*Wimbledon. Dual screens at work. Momma happy! I've always loved tennis. Played when I was younger and have followed it for many MANY years. Wimbledon started on Monday and I couldn't have been happier...until I realized that you'd have to pay to see the beginning matches of Wimbledon. So I resorted to just listening to Wimbledon radio (yep - that pretty much describes my level of being a fan!). The commentators were funny to listen to and I heard some great matches. Then we were finally able to watch online and that's the first site that is brought up each day at work. I have dual screens and this week, more than ever, I have realized the great potential and necessity of 2 monitors! Tennis history was made on Thursday when American John Isner played Nicolas Mahut from France. 11 hours and 5 minutes later, Isner triumphed over Mahut in a record match of 6-4, 3-6, 6-7, 7-6, 70-68. Yes, that's right 70-68.. It was simply unbelievable. Even if you weren't a tennis fan, I do believe you would be now. I will always remember where I was when history was made....in my office, watching on my dual monitor!!! :)

* Our computer crashed at home and we had to buy a new computer. As much as I love the new one (our old one was a refurbished work station), it's a major pain to transfer everything from one computer to another. Oh the vast number of pictures...wow. I had NO IDEA that I had taken that many. I'm pretty sure that it wasn't my fault that the computer crashed. Well, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

*Maggie continues to keep us on our toes and in hysterics. Man that girl is funny. Now, if only I could remember some of it to share with you today. Nope. Not going to happen.

*I have a full weekend ~ starting with lunch on Saturday with my oldest (and I mean in length of friendship, not our age!) friend and Sunday we will witness my niece's (Gabriela) baptism and top it off with a birthday celebration for Gabriela (8!), Maya & Isabela (6!), Ed and Big Bobby. We always look forward to June/July when we can celebrate 5 of the 20 Crews birthdays.

Happy Weekend everybody!

Nothing....

Nothing.


Seriously, that is all I've got. Nothing.

No words of wisdom. No funny story to tell.

Nothing.

I am guessing I am not going to get many comments on this as it is hard to comment on nothing. Sometimes it is hard to comment on something, let alone nothing.

What a waste of this blog's storage capacity. Thankfully nothing does not come with pictures, so they will be thankful that I uploaded nothing to their server to go along with posting about nothing.

The fantastic thing about having nothing, at least in my opinion, is that by having nothing, I have managed to blog about something. Not much, but something ... which is terribly disheartening to me because now my post entitled "Nothing" is now about something and that just doesn't make any sense at all.

 

Seeking His Face

This morning, during my quiet time (which if I'm honest is the first time in many days that I've done this!), I prayed that God would speak to me about Maggie by giving me specific Scripture verses to cling to. She's been having some pretty tough weeks. God immediately answered my prayer. Here is what He spoke to me:

I was reading Psalm 105 and verse 4 jumped out at me:

"Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." I prayed, "Lord this is what you would have me do--to rely on your strength to be Jesus to Maggie--to seek Your face when she is struggling. Lord, remind me to turn to you in the midst of the battle." "Seek His face" means prayer. God was reminding me that first and foremost with Maggie I need to be in prayer. No parenting technique will be effective without prayer. In addition, nothing is as powerful as prayer to heal her.

Psalm 105:5 says, "Remember the wonders He has done . . ." I was reminded to remember God's power, remember the miracles Jesus did, and that if He can heal the blind and lame, feed 5,000, and raise a man from the dead, He CAN heal Maggie. I am to recall to memory all that He has done through history, as well as in my own life, to remind me that He is able to heal. I am to look back and remember in order to have hope that God is going to work all things for His glory!

I then read Psalm 106:13, "But they soon forgot what He had done and did not wait for His counsel." I prayed, "Lord, let me wait for your counsel instead of turning to the world." God is on our side; He is with us in this trial. His Word has all of the answers for every situation. We need to just wait for His counsel and He will give wisdom to all who ask for it.

My next prayer was one of affirmation:

Lord, I will seek You. I will call out for wisdom, I will turn to love to cast out fear. I will ask you what the most loving thing to do is in every situation. I will wait on you. I will ask for forgiveness when I mess up. I will humble myself. I will address sin and confront the lies of the enemy and declare truth over Maggie. I will sing your praise over her. I will obey you, God. I will seek your counsel, for you are our counselor. I will not entertain negative thoughts. I will persevere in this trial because I believe in your power.

Psalm 106:24-25 says, "Then they despised the pleasant land; they did not believe His promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the Lord."

I prayed: "God, maybe you do not work in situations when we 1) are not believing your promises to us and 2) we are grumbling in our "tents". We need to believe God's promises, trusting in His sovereign plan for our lives, and not grumble and complain, but to be thankful even in the midst of trials and even FOR the trials!

So, this is what God taught me in my quiet time--very simply: to continue to seek Him first through prayer, to remember what He has done in the past to know what He can and will do in Maggie's life, to not complain and to not be yoked with the world in this. We are to seek godly advice from Christians (as we have been doing) and go to His Word. I am reassured me that He is with us, that He is in control, that He sovereignly ordained this trial, and that I am not alone, I can go to Him when I am weak and He will be my strength. All praise, honor and glory to Him. May I be obedient to His call in my life to parent Maggie and may I be faithful as His humble servant.

Video of Maggie's photoshoot

Click on the link below to see a great video that Melissa put together of her photoshoot with Maggie. I couldn't love it more!!!!

"Maggie Joy..."

Saturday Events

Before I became a momma, I spent ALOT of time with 3 of my nieces. They lived just down the street, so it was easy for me to pop in, pick one or two or three of them to go and do something and I was usually the one called on to babysit. However, over the past year and a half, I've had my own little one to spend time with and those 3 other little ones didn't see as much of me as they were used to. In all honesty though, the older they get, the busier their little lives have become and it was hard to get in on "their schedules".

I have always taken them out on their birthdays. That's something that I want to continue doing - no matter what.

So, today, I took Gabriela out for her 8th birthday. Although it's a little early, it was the only Saturday that we could make it work between mine and her family's schedule. Oh I must digress to say, I seriously cannot believe that Gabriela will be 8 years old. I remember the first time I held her on her birth day and now - wow...how quickly they grow up!

I picked her up at noon and found her all dressed up and ready to go. She was so excited. "Oh, CC - it's just you and me!" The other two weren't too happy but I reminded them that they would be having their special lunch with me in about a month, when they celebrated their 6th birthdays.

As I sat there visiting with the twins and my sister, Ashley, Gabriela proceeded to tell me what was going to take place.

I had asked her where she wanted to go - she could pick anywhere - she chose Olive Garden.

And then she said: "Ok, CC. You like Fettuccine Alfredo, right? (yes I do, Gabriela). Ok, good. We'll go ahead and order the Fettuccine Alfredo and just split it, because you get a lot and we can just share. Then I'll order a coke, because I'm allowed to have one and you can get your diet coke. When the salad comes, I'll take a little bit. I don't like the olives and I usually only eat a few of the toasted bread (crutons) and I'll have a half of a breadstick with my salad. You'll need to order a side of the fettuccine alfredo sauce so that I can dip my bread sticks in there. You'll love it. Trust me. Then when the meal comes, I'll have one whole bread stick. And then, when we're done with that, I will get the Black Tie Mousse Cake and have them sing Happy Birthday to me. But, CC, you'll need to tell them it's my birthday. It's rude for me to tell them. Ok. Let's go." And seriously, folks, that's pretty much what happened! (that girl is hilarious)

We arrived at Olive Garden and it was packed! Lots of graduation and other big parties going on I guess. Anyway, they said the wait would be about 35 minutes. Gabriela said, "well, my cut off is 45 minutes, so I guess we can wait." (seriously?!?!?) Anyway...we waited and thankfully since it was just the 2 of us, we really only waited about 20 minutes. They sat us down, and she went to work on her plan.

We finished our lunch and I told the waiter what Gabriela wanted for dessert and that it was her birthday. {She was so excited} The waiter's face turned down and said, "oh I'm so sorry but we can't sing happy birthday to you today." I thought he was kidding. He was not. "Why can't you sing happy birthday to her today?" I asked. He went on to tell us that they had so many complaints about it disturbing other people's meals that corporate made it a policy that they are not to celebrate and/or sing any birthdays anymore.

Are you kidding me?!?!? This has seriously got to be the most ridiculous corporate rule I've ever heard. He felt really bad, apologized profusely and then Gabriela said - "Well, just tell the Corporate that this was the only reason I came here today."

I'm guessing she thought they were the only restaurant to do something like this, but in any event, she was really disappointed. So, when the cake arrived, I sang to her softly and everyone around us had a smile on their face. :) She thanked me for singing and we shared that delicious piece of cake.

We had a wonderful lunch together ~ just laughing, talking, sharing. I sure do love my sweet Gabriela :)

Afterwards, I went to get my haircut. I have been needing to get it cut, but honestly, didn't want to go back to the same lady I've been going to for quite a while. So I went to my sister's sylist and I absolutely loved what she did to my hair. It's similiar to how I had it cut at our wedding, and I've not been able to get anyone to cut it like that since.  Here are 2 pictures that I was able to take with my camera phone - they aren't great...but hey - it's something.  I couldn't get one of the back but it's really cute, layered and flippy.

I then proceeded to go to HEB for my weekly grocery shopping, only to find out that they have completely changed the location of the products in the main aisles and I spent almost an hour and half just trying to find what I needed.  Ugh - I sure do hate when they do that. Of course, I think it's just another way for them to make more money.....

With that, my friends, I'm off to watch a little TV on the DVR and hopefully get a good night's sleep.  Happy Weekend everybody!

The Blessing of Adoption

We have never regretted our decision to adopt Maggie. She has filled our home with unspeakable joy. Of course there were adjustments and some struggles in the beginning, but overall our experience adopting Maggie has been nothing short of amazing. Maggie is a survivor. Her little heart is still healing, but each day brings about a new opportunity for her to grow, to trust, to love and to heal. Being a part of that has been the most amazing experience of my life. Seeing her change and blossom and learn to love has challenged me in ways I could not have ever imagined. There is beauty in the pain, and mercy in the healing. I truly believe in my heart God is going to use her for something great and that her suffering was not in vain; He will use it for His glory.

We thought we would change a child's life forever, instead.... she changed us forever. I am a better person because of her. She has taught me what it means to love without condition. She opened our eyes to the joy of growing our family through adoption. She allowed us into her heart, despite the fact that everyone else she had ever known abandoned her. She came here so hurt and angry. Before joining our family, everyone in her life let her down; yet she still chose to love. She came here not knowing if we would just be more of the same. She had no idea if we would just bring more hurt and pain, yet each day she chooses to trust us more and chooses to love us.

It is because of her I have more faith. When we entered into adoption, we didn't know where the journey would take us. We had no idea we would end up adopting a toddler out of foster care. We had to get over our fears and put our complete faith in God. I am so thankful we had the faith to bring this child into our home and lives. I have personally witnessed a miracle. I have seen that God can take even the most broken of spirits and mend her with His tender loving care. It has been nothing short of amazing and I would do it all again in a moment.

Our adoption is finalized but there is still much to be done and to be seen. Our journey is not over. Healing is a long process. I am convinced that most people will not know complete healing until heaven. It takes time, A LOT of time. Especially for these little people whose hearts have been shattered into millions of pieces. If that is the one thing I would want people to know who are in the midst of a very difficult season or for those who are entering the adoption process. These children are hurting. They are broken beyond anything we can ever fully understand. It is going to take a great deal of time to reverse their past but there is great hope for little ones full of hope, trust and love.

It's been one of those days....and nights.

Here’s how my morning went ~

Woke up Maggie. She was in a fowl mood. Gotta love it when that happens.

She didn’t want to wear a shirt…not any shirt. I force it on her.

She then refuses to let me brush her hair or fix it. But there is no way that I will let my child go to school looking like a mess.

Get to school. Open the door, she gets out and decides that it would be really fun to just run through the parking lot. Running. Everywhere.

Thank God it was only 80 degrees this morning. Anyway.

I am literally running/chasing her for 6 minutes. You know how it is when you are trying to catch a loose dog. Yep.Exactly.

Finally catch her. Carry her all the way across the parking lot and into the school. I put her down for a minute to sign her in. She runs off into the gym. Fine. It’s on the way to the classroom.

She then begins to cry and refuses to move. I am basically wrestling with her by this time.

I finally get her in my arms and bring her to the room. She is now hanging on to me for dear life.

Won’t let go.

Doesn’t want me to put her down.

I try to gently remove her. Not working. So I have to resort to the forceful removal where all she does is slide down my leg and wrap herself around it and starts screaming. She kicks off her shoes. Removes all her hair bows/barrettes and starts kicking.

I walk out of the room, basically shaking her off of me and wish Ms. Christine * the lucky teacher * a good day :)

{8 hours of work}

here's how my evening went ~

walked out of work just as the sky fell out. HUGE hail all the way to get maggie. what normally takes 25 minutes, took me an hour.

off to therapy. maggie trips right outside the front door, skins her knee (pretty badly actually)

i should've just turned around and went home...but i did not.

crying in the waiting room - her world has come to an end, of course.

other people staring - gotta love it. i mean, your kid must be perfect b/c why else would you be here?!?!?!?

finally get called back to the therapist's office but she's switched offices and therefore maggie refuses to go in.

i mean R.E.F.U.S.E.S!

again - should have turned around.

go in and sit on the floor only to have her basically tear up this office (which also happens to be my brother in law's)

while I just sit on the floor and try and have a conversation with the therapist.

but tonight - i just don't feel like talking much

i tell her how i feel like i just don't know what to do. what to say. how to handle things. she reassures me that i'm doing a good job but honestly, it just felt like words at the time.

maggie finally ends up on the couch. we're saying goodbye and maggie announces she needs to go potty. oops...correct that. she's gone potty. yep, right on uncle ed's new suede couch.

and i'm not talking about a little pee....it was like the fountains gushed!

she hasn't had any accidents in weeks.

awesome. so i put her in the bathroom, run out to the car to get another change of clothes, come back in and try and soak up the pee out of the couch with some paper towels....yeah right.

decide to just go through mcdonalds to get dinner. pulled up in the driveway and all the drinks spilled over. completely emptied out all over my feet. coke going all the way to the back of the car.

i yell some curse words. it scares her.

park the car, take her inside. drop off the food. decide to just eat first - will clean up later.

all the food is ice cold.

throw food in the trash. go out to the car. try to clean up the spilled coke.

no one ever said don't cry over spilt coke, right?!?

so i start the dishwasher and finally get a few minutes to myself in the bathroom because i have to go poop. yep. just being honest.

when i hear "momma momma...water water water" screaming through the house. yep, the little drainage thingy that is next to the water faucet on the sink - that allows the water to drain from the dishwasher - somehow got turned and the water went gushing out all over the countertops...and all over the floor.

I clean up the water almost an hour later.

That is, after I ate a whole bag of gummy bears.

1 year, 10 months 10 days.....

It was the morning we had been waiting 1 year, 10 months and 10 days for ~ Maggie's adoption day.

We didn't sleep much the night before ~ too excited, nervous, anxious, happy.

We were up and ready to head out to the Montgomery County Courthouse. Even left the house a little earlier than expected.

Sure glad we did.

"Momma, my seatbelt too tight." "You're ok, Maggie" (of course, nothing has been adjusted or changed in her straps in the carseat) After about 5 minutes of this continuing conversation, we pull over, I adjust the straps and we get back on the road. All is well in the world. Until.

"Momma, gotta go potty." And when she says it, she means it. Pull over again at Jack in the Box where Maggie thinks we're stopping for food and has a meltdown because she wants to go potty. Thankfully she made it to the potty in time and then of course, wanted fry fries at 8:30 in the morning.

Then we hit the morning traffic. No one is moving. Are you kidding me?!

Why is it that when you really have to be somewhere at a certain time, that every possible delay comes your way.

I'm not quite sure how we got to the courthouse by 9am ~ well, I do know but we won't go there.

No parking. Unload the car. Drive a few blocks, find side street. Park. Walk the few blocks knowing that everyone is waiting on us. Whew. Got in to courthouse right at 9am. Thanks to the Houston heat and humidity, I was not looking nearly as good as I was an hour ago. Oh well...we move on.

We hang out in the hallway until our attorney comes out to greet us. We had only spoken on the phone and communicated through email, but I knew what he looked like (thanks Facebook!). We shook hands and he took us back to a conference room to go over some paperwork, sign some documents and brief us on what would happen in the courtroom.

Our attorney was great. He's adopted 5 of his 6 children through CPS and now only does adoption legal work. He loved Maggie and was quite entertaining to her, as Momma & Daddy did their thing.

We go out to the courtroom and meet up with our CPS caseworker, our agency caseworker and our CASA worker. The courtroom is not that big ~ nothing like what you see on Law & Order ~ but it was packed. Filled to capacity. However, there was just enough room left on the very front row for us to sit.

All rise.

"Momma, why is everyone standing?" Snickering is heard through the courtroom. Oh the joys of a child :)

The judge sits down and announces that there is a very full docket today of family matters, including 3 adoptions and she'd like to get those done so that the families can get out of her and celebrate. We were all happy to hear that.

The judge calls up our attorney and they announce "Thompson case" up first. YIPPEE!

The 3 of us approach the bench, along with our attorney and our 3 caseworkers. We raise our right hand. Maggie joins in. :) We take our oath and our attorney proceeds to ask us a bunch of questions that he had already told us to say "yes sir" to. He asks me first, then Michael. Then he proceeds to ask each caseworker who they are, what agency they are with and if they are absolutely sure that this adoption is in the best interest of the child. They all strongly agreed with the statement.

Meanwhile, while this is all going on, Maggie is getting a little restless. I know ~ surprise! So I place her up on the counter of the judge's desk. At first, I wondered if I had just made a huge mistake, not knowing how the judge would react, but I had a very squeamish little girl and felt it was better to ask for forgiveness, than to ask for permission and be denied the request. The judge looked at Maggie and smiled. Interacting with her quietly and through gesturing. Maggie was quite intrigued with the Judge's desk and EVERYTHING on it. She was touching EVERYTHING. Then she found a treasure ~ a small bottle of lotion. Immediately I think ~ oh no....this is not going to end well. The judge asked Maggie if she'd like to have some, as Maggie grabs it from her desk. Maggie very gently says "yes, please." (whew - that was good!) Maggie then opens the bottle, and proceeds to say "Hi Lady...would you like some lotion? I put it on you." The judge just smiled and said no thank you. (whew #2)

Attorney finishes the questioning. The judge reads through the statement of adoption. More legal mumbo-jumbo. And then she says...

"It is now hereby ordered that XXX be now known as Maggie Joy Thompson and her parents are now known as MJT and CJT. This adoption is now complete."

Clapping erupted throughout the courtroom. Tears barely contained in my eyes. But I held it together....for the time being.

The judge invited us up to take a picture with her. We joined her up on the stage. "Maggie, may I hold you in my lap in my chair?" to which Maggie replied, "no thank you." (whew #3) The judge then invited me to sit her chair and hold Maggie for the pictures. The judge thanked us for what we did and for changing Maggie's life. She shook our hands. I then asked Maggie to give the judge back her lotion. Maggie said, "but Momma, I really need it." The judge sweetly told Maggie that she could keep it. Maggie said, "thank you nice lady. I really need it." (whew #4) and with that, we left the courtroom.

As soon as the doors closed behind us, the flood gates opened. I lost it. Completely. Bawling like a baby. Maggie kept saying "what's wrong, Momma. Gonna be ok?" I told her I was just so happy.

It was just a release of everything. A relief. Pure joy.

The whole experience lasted all but 10 minutes. But it was the end of a 3 years, 4 months and 2 days journey. That's a pretty long time in my book.

We hung around so that we could get our certified copies of the adoption decree and enjoyed visiting with our 3 caseworkers for the last time.

We told them how much we appreciated all that they did to help us. We truly were blessed with some amazing people on our journey. I'm not sure what we would've done without them. And as much as we liked them, we were more than happy to say goodbye. The feeling was mutual.

It's all very surreal. Even still today. The adoption hearing was never about whether or not I was Maggie's mother. I was her momma the moment I laid eyes on her. It was about being able to let go of the past and move on and just be a family of 3, versus a part of a larger entity called the State of Texas.

We arrived that morning as 3 separate entities according in the eyes of the State of Texas. We left as a family of 3. Best 10 minutes of my life so far.