First Day of Preschool

We really didn't start talking about the new school, until after Maggie finished up at her other school. We thought it might be too confusing. So we started talking it up all weekend and she was really excited about her new school....until.....it was time for Momma to leave.

I decided to drop Maggie off at 8am (when school starts) versus 6:30, when the before school care starts. I wanted to bring her to her new classroom and introduce her to her new teacher, Ms. Renee. We got to the room before anyone else was there, including the teacher. A few minutes later, the door opened and Maggie went running in. She immediately started playing with the puppies & puzzles and investigating everything. I introduced her to Miss Renee and she wasn't too excited about that, but she gave her "normal" greeting. I chatted with her teacher for a few minutes and then I needed to leave. Maggie came running up to me, grabbing my legs, climbing up me and into my arms, screaming...MOMMA DON'T LEAVE ME!

Oh how my heart broke at that moment. My poor sweet little girl. I could see the terror in her eyes. She still has such deep separation issues. She was fine at her other school, but that's because she eventually felt safe there and she knew that whenever Momma dropped her off there, that Momma would come back. This was a new place and new people and she didn't know what to think. Of course, we all know that Momma was coming back but she didn't.

I have never heard Maggie scream like before...ever...and she's had plenty of screaming moments. I told her that I loved her, that she was going to have so much fun at her new school, meeting new friends and that Momma would be back to get her at the end of the day. I'm pretty sure she didn't hear a word of what I said. She was basically clinging on to me for dear life. I gently removed her from my body and handed her over to her teacher and I walked out the door....all the while hearing her scream - Momma don't leave me...Momma don't leave me...all the way down one hall, down another hall and into the gym. I could still hear her. Oh be still this Momma's heart.

It's so sad really. To know that she has such deep anxiety on being left behind, because of her past...that even though she knows that Momma and Daddy are here, there is still that insecure security (does that make sense?)

I emailed the director before lunch and asked if she would please go and check on Maggie. I figured that she was ok (otherwise I'm sure they would've called me) but I just needed some reassurance. They emailed me back and said that Maggie was doing great! That was medicine to my soul.

When I went to pick Maggie up, I walked to the door and waited for her to turn and see me. She did and her face lit up, a huge smile covered her face and she came running to the door. "Momma came back! Momma came back!" I scooped her up and gave her a big hug and kiss. I told her, "See, Momma came back. Momma always comes back. I was so sad when you were crying this morning." She looked at me and said, "Look at me smiley face now, Momma. Maggie happy. Momma back."

A sweet babe back in the arms of her Momma....and all was right with the world again.