Welcome back old friend

After much discussion and advice sought, we welcomed back an old friend to our home tonight.....the ba-ba.

We have had 25 straight nights of pure agonizing trauma. We have tried everything - different routines, substitutions, pacifers, sippy cups, books, songs, rocking, new blanket - everything and none of it worked.

Maggie was just absolutely traumatized by us taking away her bottle at nap/bed time. Our goal was to get rid of it so that she could adjust to not having to have something to drink...with the hopes of potty training in the coming months. However, after evaluating her behavior, we felt it was in her best interest to focus on her emotional well being, versus trying to think of potty training.

Every night was a major battle. She would eventually fall asleep but out of pure exhaustion and always in our arms. She was no longer able to put herself to sleep. She hasn't taken a nap in a few weeks now and the poor thing is just exhausted. She is waking up in the middle of the night & waking up much earlier than before. I just kept thinking, surely this will pass...each night will get a little better. But it didn't.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have taken the bottle away. I was ready. She wasn't ready. I thought it wouldn't be THAT big of an issue and it was much more than I could've imagined. That baba is obviously a huge security for her and I feel horrible for taking it away.

So, tonight, we made a trip to Target and we went to the baby section. I didn't say anything and just grabbed a package of bottles and Maggie started yelling "BABA! BABA! Maggie Baba!" I gave them to her to hold and she immediately started sucking on the plastic wrap, trying to get to the bottles.

After we read some books and said our prayers, Maggie asked for some milk. She didn't ask for the baba, and I hestitated, thinking...well, maybe she doesn't need the baba afterall. But, I decided to not risk it. I walked into her room, with the baba behind my back. She said, Momma milk? And I pulled out the baba. You should have seen that sweet baby's face light up like Christmas morning. She grabbed that baba, gave me a big kiss, said "nigh night Momma", turned on her side and fell fast asleep.

With tears in my eyes, I said my good night and walked into my room and just cried. Tears because I can see that I caused 25 nights of unnecessary trauma. Tears because my sweet little innocent baby girl still needs such comfort. It makes you wonder what really has happened in her short life that would cause such deep need for that security. Tears because that gift of the baba brought her immediate peace and comfort, that right now, nothing else can.

It's a good reminder that often times what we think we need to do and what others are telling us to do, might not really be the best thing for us at all. It's also a strong reminder that even though our sweet Maggie Joy is doing wonderfully from where she was a year ago, she still has experienced greater trauma in her first 18 months of life, than most people do in a lifetime...and sometimes, we just need the little extra comfort along the way.

So, welcome home baba....we sure are happy to see you again.

And as for potty training, well....we'll tackle that another day!