The Miracle

I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I know many of you have been looking for an update on our homevisit with our caseworker last Wednesday. It has been an emotional few days and I just haven't had the energy or time to blog anything....until today. Michael & I met with Robyn last Wednesday for about 3 hours. In the middle of our meeting, she felt led to pray for us. What was really neat about it was that she said that in all her years of home visits and casework, she had never felt led by the Holy Spirit to pray with a couple! God is working, even when we don't know it! That's all it took! We're done with the home inspection and home visit. Robyn felt that she had enough information from our two meetings, phone conversations and all of our paperwork to write an effective Home Study.

She told us the process from this point: Robyn will write up our Home Study and send to the Area Director for approval. Once the Area Director approves the home study, she will forward to the State-agency director for final approval and licensing. Then once we are licensed, we will be put into the system and wait to be matched. We thought that the final decision would be Robyn's and then we find out that 2 other people have to approve us before we get licensed by the State of Texas. Robyn said that the process would take about 4 - 6 weeks, especially with the holidays. Michael & I were good with that.

Without going into too much detail, we found out Thursday morning that there was a possibility that our Area Director might not approve our Homestudy. We were shocked. We were angry. We were disappointed. We were hurt. We were speechless. We were grieving. We just didn't know what to think, say or do. What do you mean "not approve"? We have been working with them for almost 10 months and not once along the line did they give us any indication that we might be denied. Michael & I were just beside ourselves and not knowing what to do. We shared the news with 2 close friends and my parents and just asked them to pray. That's all we knew to do.

Michael & I have known for so long that this is what God was calling us to do and when you're doing what the Lord desires for you to do, the enemy will attack...and attack he did!

In the midst of all the possible changes, we knew one thing for sure - God doesn't change! He knew the desire of our hearts and He was in control! He has a plan, has always had a plan, and He is working, though we don't see it and it sure looks like the enemy has a leg up at this point. As my mom so eliquently put it: "God is greater than the adoption system, He is greater than "this is the way that it's always been done" mentality, He is greater than people's prejudices, and He delights in doing the impossible! Because THEN He gets all the glory!" If things just went along routinely, then it's just man's job of getting it done right ~ and man, that sure would be nice and easy ~ BUT now, we get to see His power at work.

All the while, Satan wants to keep us in the anger/grief mode and keep us defeated. But when we can wrap our minds around the big picture and say, "Yes, this is the current situation and it stinks. But God isn't bound by this, and He has something unique, p0werful and amazing that we don't know about that this will make people say....WOW! How did THAT happen?! It HAD to be God!

HE DELIGHTS IN NOTHING MORE THAN OUR CHOICE TO BELIEVE HIM OVER WHAT WE SEE AND FEEL!

BELIEVE EVEN WHEN YOU DO NOT FEEL. KNOW EVEN WHEN YOU DO NOT SEE. HE GAVE THE LIFE OF HIS SON TO DEMONSTRATE HIS LOVE. BELIEVE!

Lord God, Your Word says that You love the just and will not forsake Your faithful ones. They will be protected forever. My justication is found in Your Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is faithful even when I am not. Thank You, Father, that I can be absolutely sure You will never leave me or forsake me! Thank you that a lack of faith will never nullify Your faithfulness. If I am faithless, You will remain faithful, for You cannot disown Yourself. Lord, help me to know that I belong to the truth, and set my heart at rest in Your presence.

COMPLETELY SURRENDER YOUR HURT TO HIM, WITHHOLDING NOTHING, AND INVITE HIM TO WORK MIRACLES FROM YOUR MISERY.

"Lord God, I am hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed!" 2 Corinthians 4:8

PERHAPS THE MOST PROFOUND MIRACLE OF ALL IS LIVING THROUGH SOMETHING WE THOUGHT WOULD KILL US.

"I pray that out of Your glorious riches You will strengthen me with your power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3: 16 - 19

We found out around noon on Thursday that the licensing committee from Austin was actually in the Houston office for some meetings. Robyn told us that they wanted an update on our case and homestudy and that she would update us as soon as she knew anything. Of course, Michael & I were on pins and needles al day. Hour by hour passed with no news. Michael & I went home Thursday night defeated and worn out and of course, every possible scenario running through our minds about why we didn't hear from Robyn. All we could do was pray, lay it at the feet of Jesus. He knew our hearts and how they were breaking. We were broken and even though things were not looking positive, we stood firm in the knowledge that this is what God called us to do.

After a sleepless night, Michael & I went to work and tried to press through our day. I can't tell you how many times we checked our personal email, work email, voicemails, etc...just hoping that something would pop up. Around noon on Friday, Michael decided to give Robyn a call. About 30 minutes later, Michael called me and here's a little bit of how the conversation went:

M: Did you get any emails from Robyn yet?
C: No, don't you think that if I had, I would've called you?! (a little frustrated, as I'm sure you can imagine)
M: Well, I just got off the phone with Robyn.
C: OK
M: Do you want the news? (his voice cracking)
C: NO! Don't want to hear it
M: (in a faint whisper I hear) We got licensed
C: WHAT?!?!?!
M: (a lot louder this time) WE GOT LICENSED!
C: What do you mean we got licensed?

This is when Michael proceeded to share with me his conversation with Robyn. Robyn met with the licensing committee on Thursday afternoon to give them an update on our case/file/homestudy/visits, etc. Robyn has been our cheerleader/advocate since the "get-go". She went in, told them about us, and how everything was going, the struggles we've had through the process and she recommended us 100% for adoption licensing. Robyn told us (as she told the committee) that she had never met a more precious couple. She said that our file couldn't be any better, our home any more perfect and that she knew beyond all doubt that we were called to be adoptive parents. Without hesitation, she recommended us for licensing. Now, please bear in mind, that this was just supposed to be a short 5 minute update on one of her cases. It was not to be a time to discuss anything at length or to have anything decided on. However, God had other plans.

After hearing Robyn's assessment of our case, reading our recommendations (thank you to those who blew us away with your love and overwhelming support) and knowing our story, Robyn got up to leave the room. The licensing committee stopped her and said, please tell Michael & Courtney that they are officially licensed as of today. Robyn was shocked! Even though the home visits were completed, she hadn't finished the HomeStudy yet. In all her years of being in this line of work, she has never seen the licensing committee make a decision such as this. She just couldn't believe it. She came back to her office and instead of calling us, she sent us an email with the good news.

Well, my friends....here is where you say WOW! How did THAT happen?

It HAD to be God!

Now, if you remember at the beginning of my post (sorry...this has gone on so long!) I said we got the good news on Friday afternoon. That would be because we never got the email. There was some sort of networking problem at Robyn's office and that email was stuck in her outbox until Friday night.

Hmmmm...isn't that interesting?! You know what ~ as much pain and anguish and all the other emotions that ran through me and Michael Thursday and Friday ~ there was a reason why we didn't get that email on Thursday night. We were supposed to feel those things, work through them and to be able to lay them at the feet of Jesus. And so, on Friday afternoon we were able to experience the impossible and see first hand, His Power at work!

Do you believe that I am able to do this? Matthew 9:28

So, what does this mean for us now? We are officially licensed by the State of Texas and can start receiving bulletins/matches of children that meet our criteria. We have no idea of how quickly or how slowly this will take, but we know that God is in control, that His timing is perfect, that He is watching over our children even now, preparing them for us and us for them and when we do bring them home, the Lord will be glorified through it all!

Thank you all so much for your prayers, love, support and encouragement along our journey. It hasn't been easy but we do see the end in sight. Please continue to pray for us and for the little ones we will call our children soon!

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving......we are so thankful for each of you! We love you all!