Email from my momma

I received an email from my momma a few weeks back when I was really fearful of our situation with Maggie's adoption. Satan was on the attack big time. I have kept this email as a reminder, and just revisited it again this morning when more fear set in. As I was encouraged yet again, I thought I would share it with you. Surely, there are those of you out there who could use the reminder, too! All I can say is thank you Lord, for our Mommas....what would we do without them?! I love you Mom!

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Sorry you’ve had such a rough week. I know full well where fear can and does lead; it’s our greatest enemy and Satan’s greatest tool. We can’t allow our minds “to go there.” This is such a testing time for everybody, from world conflict, economic collapse, you name it. We are being forced to walk by faith; we say we do, we say we believe that’s the only way to live, but we don’t always do it, really….none of us because usually we can manage to “do life” in our own strength.

All to say, I remember doing a word study in scripture on fear. Fear is written more than 400 times in the Bible, and with very few exceptions, it is always in the contact of “Fear NOT.” The only other times it was in the context of fearing God, as in being in awe of Him. We know we’re not to fear; God is trustworthy, He knows everything; HE isn’t surprised by anything, and He is still in control. So now we get to really live out what we know in our minds and trust in our hearts.

We can’t allow Satan to overwhelm us, defeat us and destroy us with his fear tactics. Yes, any number of horrible things can happen, BUT……God loves Maggie more than anyone can, knows what is best for her, has certainly protected her, has not brought her into your lives by chance, and He is able to accomplish everything He promises. I always love reading the Psalms because David is so gut honest. He rants, raves, asks God to destroy his enemies, crush them, rails about the injustices…….and after he finishes venting, he gets to the big BUT…..BUT GOD. In spite of all the horrible junk, God is at work. David remembers again that God is able and will work things out, even though it doesn’t look like it at all, and the timing never seems to look right to us. He tells us to rest, not to panic, trust….it goes against everything human in us. I’m praying and believing that God is working all this out, that Maggie will remain with you always, you will adopt her, God will protect all of you from any harm, and He is keenly aware of all the details.

One foot in front of the other; that’s all we can do. I’m so glad He doesn’t say we are to run by faith…..couldn’t do it. Walking…..one foot after the other……literally one step at a time….that is more doable. Sometimes it’s painful to even walk, but I’m praying that we can all keep moving.

I’m confident that all this will become a memory to look back on and say how wonderfully God worked in every detail. Just know that we are praying with and for you, trusting God to work, and believing that this will absolutely turn out for GOOD.

Love you!
Mom

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Surgery Scheduled

We finally received confirmation this morning that Maggie's surgery will take place Friday morning. The plan is to have her tonsils and adenoids removed, as well as tubes put in her ears. Normally, this is an outpatient surgical procedure and not a big deal, however, due to Maggie's age and her severe sleep apnea, we have been told to expect to be admitted for 3 -5 days. We are hopeful that this is just a precaution and won't be necessary. We know that we will have to stay at least 1 day.

Even though the procedure is necessary and I know will make her feel so much better, it's still hard to let go of your little one...but we know that God's hands will be directly the surgeons hands and that His presence will be known in that operating room.

Please pray that the surgery is without any complications, that the surgeons have steady hands and clear minds, that Maggie recovers well, and that Momma & Daddy remain composed and able to comfort our sweet little one.

Not that we had any doubts....

we passed our state licensing inspection this morning! Now, we're good for another 3 years...and unless we decide to foster-to-adopt again, we're good for good!

I'm just glad to have this done and to not worry about it anymore.

Inspector....where are you???

My house is completely in order. Paperwork filed and easily accessible. Frig and freezer completely filled with all things fresh. Trash discarded. Childproofing 101, done twice. Dog current on vaccinations. Work schedules re-arranged. Inspection was scheduled for 9am....it's now 11:34am.

....and no inspector. No call. No voicemail. No email. Nothing. Just nothing....unless you want to talk about frustration...now, that's not nothing!

Where we are....How are we?

Many of you have asked where we are at in our journey and how we are doing, so I thought I'd take this rare moment to blog. (Man those days of just blogging whenever I thought of something are LONG gone!.... but I'm not complaining!)

There really isn't much news as far as Maggie's adoption goes. If you've read our blog, you'll know that her birth mother was granted one visit back in September. Due to the reaction of both birth mother and Maggie, no further visits have been granted. We are thankful for this. Honestly, it was amazing to see how much damage was done in one short hour. Unbelievable and heartbreaking. All the work that Michael & I had been able to accomplish with Maggie over the 7 weeks (at that time) that she had been with us, had been erased. Just like that...and then some. It took us almost 10 days to get her back to her "old" self...for Maggie to find her security again. Her smile again. Her laughter again. Her peaceful sleeping again. She was absolutely undone after that visit and there was absolutely nothing that I could do, except hold her, rock her, love her and pray over her. I realize that isn't "nothing" but it's just so completely heartbreaking to not know what to do or how to fix it. I'm a "fixer" by nature and this time I just couldn't fix it. But thankfully we have a GOD who can fix all things...and He used this time to really deepen our bonds with each other and draw us closer together as a family.

2 weeks ago, there was a permanency conference in regards to Maggie's case. It's basically a time for all parties involved to come together and discuss Maggie and her case. Her birth mother did not show up. This was really bad for her...great for us! As far as we know, the birth mom has not been in contact with CPS since the visit, or completed any task that the judge required her to do over 3 months ago. Everyone is pushing for unrelated adoption to happen quickly, so we are praying that this is what will transpire at the next court hearing on November 10th.

In the meantime, we've been inundated with getting everything set up for Maggie's surgery on the 17th. Maggie has severe sleep apnea, especially for her size/age, so they are going to be removing her adenoids and tonsils, as well as putting tubes in her ears (since she's already had 3 ear infections since she's been with us). In most cases, kids go home the same day. However, due to the severity of her sleep apnea, they will be keeping her 3 - 5 days. She is a mouth breather and actually has no idea of what to even do with her nose (poor baby). She can't do anything with her nose. Because of this, they will need to re-train her to breathe properly. It's never easy to see your child have to endure a surgery or medical issue, but we're hoping that this will be the end to her issues, as well as the 5 medications that she takes on a daily basis. I know that she will feel better and sleep better, once this is taken care of.

As I mentioned in my last post, we have our inspection tomorrow morning by the state licensing department. I'm not too concerned about it because I know that we have a safe and healthy environment, but anytime that an official comes out to your house, you can't help but get a little unnerved. Our caseworker came out on Friday and she said that our house shouldn't have any issues...we certainly hope so. Apparently, we have been assigned one of the "sticklers" of the department. She's the one who always writes up the most people with issues...great! Every medication is double locked, every cleaner is locked up, all plugs have safety covers on them, all safety latches still lock on the cabinets, everything in the frig and freezer is fresh, all paperwork is filed away properly, new fire extinguisher is hung up, license is posted on the wall, escape route is available....so please, let's hope that covers it!!!!

Ahhhh...yes...so how are we? Thanks for asking! It's funny because once you have a little one, you're quickly forgotten about! That's not a slam on anyone...it's just the truth. I've been guilty of it so many times myself. We're always so enamored by the kiddos, we forget about Mommy and Daddy. So, for those of you who has asked......we are doing pretty good. You know, it's really been amazing to see God's handiwork throughout our journey and our lives. Our lives changed the moment Maggie walked into our home, and forever in our hearts. It hasn't always been easy, fun, smiles and triumphs...but it has always been blessed. We are just so grateful for this precious little one that the Lord has given us. It's hard to remember the hard times. They're there, believe me, but when I see that smiling face, or hear "MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" when I walk in the door, or feel that hug around my neck, or sweet kisses on my cheek...I am completely overwhelmed with how blessed I am and how much God loves me! It's only because of the Lord that we have Maggie.

We are better. We are complete. We are blessed. We are loved.

Whatever happened to time?

I used to have time...time to do "this", time to do "that"...but not anymore! Not only because we have a 20 month old but because we have a 20 month old through the foster care system. It amazes me how the state expects us to do all that they require us to do, in the time frame that they offer and still manage to even take care of ourselves, let alone our children.

We have been "randomly" selected (Michael & I just laugh at that notion!) by the Texas Department of Family & Social Services, Child Care Licensing Division to have our foster/adopt home inspected/investigated. Surprisingly, they do give you the time and date, but they don't give you much of a notice. Our inspection is scheduled for Monday morning.

Due to the fact that our journey took longer than we thought it would, most of our classes/certifications have expired. This wouldn't be too big of a deal, except for the fact that these are part of the inspection...verification of up-to-date certifications/credit hours of training. GREAT! We were actually scheduled to take 2 classes the last week of September, but we all know what happened instead....Hurricane Ike. Those classes have been rescheduled for the end of October, which of course, is after our inspection.

I have been hurrying around trying to find creative alternatives to our classes, including calling all the other agencies in the area, to see if they might be offering the class, and if it would be "comparable" to what our agency requires. Our agency has been more than willing to work with us, as the inspection also affects them and their ratings. But alas, the calls were not returned and/or agencies not offering the classes in the time frame we needed. However, our caseworker is actually certified to teach one of the classes, so she will be coming over tomorrow to teach it to us in our home. Personally, it works out better for us :) DONE!

Then we realized that our CPR has expired and that's a BIG thing...found someone who can come out on Saturday morning to re-certify us in our home. DONE!

Oh yeah, and then the dog has to be up to date on his vaccinations...good thing we already had an appointment scheduled for Saturday morning....or did we? Apparently not, according to the office today, when I confirmed. And of course, they are completely booked up Saturday and Sunday. But wait, I can drop him off tomorrow at 7am and pick him up after 5pm. DONE!

The only thing that I can say "Thanks, Ike" to is the fact that I had to clean out everything in the refrigerator and restock...as this is also something that they inspect. DONE!

Oh and did I mention, that in the midst of all this, I'm a momma to a 20 month old who returned back to work full time this past week? :)