Dear Moms Like Me,

I know, it’s been one of those days. I have them too. Days when you feel like everything you thought you knew about being a mom, isn’t working. Days when you feel like you need to go back to “Mom School.” Days when you feel that surely someone else out there could mother your child better than you are right now. I know.


Here’s the bottom line. You’re it. You’re the one that’s there in the morning waiting to see if your child is going to wake up in a good mood or a bad mood. You’re the one that shakes your head because your child is hungry, crying for food, yet rejects everything you offer. You’re the one who cringes a tiny bit when you ask your child for a hug because you’re bracing yourself for being rejected again. You’re the one who is exhausted because it’s been one of those days where your child actually does want you- not only wants you, but won’t let you breath for a minute, and panics if you leave the room.

I was reminded recently that I need to view my child’s emotional limitations and woundedness the same way I would view a physical limitation or wound. I wouldn’t dream of getting upset with a paralyzed child for not being able to get up out of his wheelchair. I wouldn’t dream of yelling at a child with a crooked back because she can’t sit up straight. It’s sound ridiculous. And yet, because my child’s wound is hidden, I forget some moments, some days, that it is a wound indeed. It’s not my child’s fault that they were deprived of all the basic first needs of life- love, touch, words of affirmation, exercise, nutrition, peaceful sleep…. It’s just not her fault. My child is not out to get me. My child just doesn’t know how to love or be loved. My child doesn’t trust and struggles with fears that I may never truly understand.

The term “special needs” takes on a whole new meaning with an emotionally wounded child. Special needs like needing to say my name over and over and over again just to reassure herself that I am indeed “Momma.” Special needs like the need to push my buttons or repeat annoying behavior, just to see if I will reject her; because rejection is so familiar and for some crazy reason feels safe. Special needs like pressing herself hard into my body with an awkward, tense snuggle because she’s just learning how to snuggle and the sensation of being close to someone warm and safe is overwhelming. It’s good; It’s scary. I like it; It’s unfamiliar.

A wise man once told me, “Your weak love is better than no love at all.” (thanks Derek) I remind myself of this on those days when I feel like I just blew it all the way around. I didn’t really blow it. I was there. I held her. I fed her. I played. I may not have done it all perfectly, but who does. You’ve had those days too. Remember though, tomorrow is a new day. Another chance to stress less and love more. Another chance to see more clearly and not take it personally. Another chance to have a sense of humor instead of a meltdown.

Hey Moms like me, you’re doing it. It’s hard work. You’re not alone. You’re loving those who were once considered unlovable. You’re looking beyond what you see on the outside and not giving up until you find what on the inside. I’m really proud of us.

Much Love,

A Mom Who Knows

PS) You’re not alone. I promise.

shared by another fellow adoptive mom

Beautiful Weekend

We had fantastic weather this weekend and not too much planned, which meant that we could spend lots of time outside!  Maggie would live outside if we'd let her!  So, we definitely want to take advantage of the nicer weather before the summer hits (next month!)

On Saturday, we headed out to Nana & Dandy's house for an Eggstravaganza.  4 girls under the age of 7.  Whew. It's no wonder Dandy decided to work in the yard, while all the girls were inside ~ dying eggs, making bird nests out of rice krispie treats, coloring pictures, doing word searches, Easter egg hunts in the backyard and a few rounds of chase. Maggie had LOTS of fun with her cousins, Gabriela, Maya & Isabela. Here are a "few" of my favorite shots from our time together.

We were definitely (and I do mean WE) worn out from the afternoon of fun!  Got a good night's rest and woke up Sunday morning and headed out to the park. We got there before it was too crowded. It was a bit breezy but absolutely sunny!  Maggie had lots of fun feeding the ducks, turtles and nutria (oh how I hate those nasty things!)  Once the bread was gone, it was off to the slides and swings.

What a wonderful weekend with our sweet girl :)

Whoooo hoooo!

Adoption placement papers were signed tonight @ 5:30pm. Maggie is officially no longer in foster care!!!  Both CPS and H4G were here to have us sign documents needed by both parties.  It wasn't too painful, especially after the many years of paperwork, but there was still quite a bit to do.  Since we were approved for subsidy in March, we had to get the papers signed in March. It's the fastest turn-around time we've had yet :)

Now, all we have to do is get our court date scheduled & we will be done!  What a day of rejoicing that will be!

Maggie Joy Thompson....formerly known as

Tears flowing. Overwhelmed. Sure, we've written her name like this since July 2007, but never once has it been typed up on a legal document from someone else...MAGGIE JOY THOMPSON, formerly known as....

Whew. I can't even really put it into words. She has been ours since the moment we opened the door and her foster mom walked in with the tiniest 17 month old I'd ever seen. And there have been so many times when we've caught ourselves saying - wonder if she gets that from you or me (meaning me or Michael)...only to realize - duh...she's not biologically ours - it's not because of either of us. However, in the eyes of the state/law/system, she's not ours. She doesn't have our name, or her given name for that matter. It's like our child has a double personality ~ she's one person to us, and someone else completely different to the rest of the world.

This legal document that I'm referring to is the Adoption Subsidy Agreement...yes, that's right! Maggie was approved for subsidy. So what does that mean exactly? There are certain criteria that allow kids from the foster care system to keep and actually gain some benefits because of their time in foster care. It's what they consider special needs. This is not special needs defined like the majority of the world would see it. Here's the criteria for getting subsidy:

1. Child over the age of 5 - doesn't apply to Maggie
2. Part of a sibling group - doesn't apply to Maggie
3. Minority race - doesn't apply to Maggie

If you don't fall into one of those categories, there is also an "other" category that covers emotional, medical or physical needs. This is when you have to plead your case in hopes of getting the benefits. This is where we fit in. Due to Maggie's severe sleep apnea, we could try to qualify, since this is considered a "life long handicapping condition". This is why we were waiting forever for the letter from her doctor. Without the letter with these exact words, we would most definitely be denied. Everyone encouraged us to apply. We could always be denied and reapply at a later date, if anything ever changed. However, if you never apply, and the adoption is finalized and then something happens - you're just out of luck. So, we filled out all the paperwork, got the letter from the doctor, turned everything in and waited. Honestly, we didn't expect to be approved.

So, when someone new called me from CPS, my immediate thought was "oh great - are we getting another caseworker?"...but then she identified herself as the subsidy coordinator and she continued on to say that we had been approved for all benefits. I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" She laughed and said "no, ma'am. I'm serious". I just didn't expect to hear those words. But, I also thought that we were just applying to keep her medical benefits, only to find out that subsidy is all or nothing. So, Maggie was approved for all subsidy benefits, which includes:

1. Traditional Medicaid until the age of 18 - everything paid for.
2. College education paid for, as long as it's a Texas state school. And get this - it's UNLIMITED! She can get her Bachelors, Masters, PhD, go to law school, medical school - whatever...all paid for.
3. Adoption costs are covered in full and paid directly to our attorney. We do not have to even try to pay for it up front and wait to be reimbursed.

Overwhelmed. Seriously overwhelmed. God has been faithful...gone beyond what we ever thought we'd get. Needless to say, it was the best call I've ever received from CPS!!!

Paperwork has been received, signed and already sent back to CPS. Now, all we are waiting on is for our CPS caseworker to come out to the house to sign the adoption placement papers. She said it's quite the process and can take over an hour to get everything done....this is no surprise, after all the paperwork we've completed over the past 3 years. Once the paperwork is signed, we can contact our attorney to get our court date scheduled....and that, my friends, will be the end to this part of the journey.

We truly have been blessed with the sweetest blessing in Maggie Joy. She has brought more love, laughter, and joy than we could've ever imagined. We feel so privileged that God has seen fit to allow us to be her Momma & Daddy. We do not take this gift or responsibility lightly and pray each day, that our Heavenly Father will reveal to us exactly what we need to be the best parents to Maggie. It hasn't been easy....but look at her....she's been soooo worth it!

Maggie Joy Thompson, formerly known as....

So cute...and supporting a good cause, too!

As most of you know, Maggie loves LOVES owls...don't know how it all started or what triggered it, but she always manages to find something with owls on it...and of course, this Momma just HAS to buy it right?! :) So when a friend of mine told me that she found some owl material on another website, I had to go and check it out.

Please stop by and see Maggie modeling her two owl dresses, courtesy of Sallee @ poppy dip. Not only does my sweet girl look absolutely adorable but we were happy to help in supporting their adoption journey. And maybe you'll just find something that a little girl in your life just couldn't live without either :)

Happy Birthday, CC

Another year, another birthday. Another Crews get together. My grandmother's(Mimi) birthday is the day before mine, so we have always enjoyed celebrating our birthdays together. This year, we decided to venture out and meet up with everyone at Cheeburger Cheeburger (yummo!)

We had to wait a little bit for them to get seating set up for 18 people. So in the meantime, a little photo shoot took place with the girls. Bobby was hanging out with the men.

It was a beautiful sunny/windy day...can you tell?

(L to R: Maya, Cierra, Samantha, Isabela & Gabriela) Not sure where Maggie was at the time, but no doubt running around somewhere!

Cousins! Isabela, Cierra, Maya, Gabriela, Maggie & Samantha

Isabela checking something out

Maya messing around

Samantha checking things out

Nana with one of her many monkeys (Gabriela)

More monkeys ~ Samantha, Isabela & Maya

That's one cute monkey!

Yummy cake

There is never a shortage of help in blowing out the candles!

This sweet girl is always smiling! :)

We had a great time celebrating ~ if you don't count when Maggie projectile vomitted all over the table (thankfully before the food arrived) and we had to rush her home to get her cleaned up. Thankfully Daddy stayed with Maggie and Momma came back up to enjoy her birthday dinner and cake. Don't know what happened but she was ok the rest of the day. She was sad to leave all her cousins. She has so much fun playing with all of them. It was sad for me, too, because she was actually behaving, listening and doing such a great job in all the chaos! Oh well, I'm pretty sure that there will be another Crews birthday get-together soon enough!

Impromptu photo shoot

It was such a beautiful sunny day yesterday, so Maggie & I went outside for a bit...and an impromptu photo shoot took place.

My sweet little girl isn't looking so little anymore!

Hard to believe that this time last year she barely had any hair! Don't you just love the owl clip?

Strike a pose!

Oh how I love this girl!