When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

I was just about to delete this forwarded email but for some reason, I decided to go ahead and read it...I'm sure glad that I did.  What an encouragement to me as a momma....

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
A message every adult should read because children 
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my 
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately 
wanted to paint another one. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a 
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind 
to animals. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my 
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little 
things can be the special things in life. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a 
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always 
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a 
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I 
learned that we all have to help take care of each other. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care 
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have 
to take care of what we are given. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you 
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't 
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be 
responsible when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come 
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things 
hurt, but it's all right to cry. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you 
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of 
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and 
productive person when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and 
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when 
you thought I wasn't looking'

It's official...

...we are a diaper free household!  That's right! In the week since I last posted about our pull-up adventures, our sweet girl has not had one accident. Yep! Can you believe it?!  She tells us quite frequently - "momma/daddy, gotta go potty!" and she dashes as fast as she can to one of the bathrooms.  She's even conquered going poop in the potty! (TMI - I know!) That was a bit traumatic at first, but she's ok with it now...and I'm thankful because I've always heard that this is the hardest part of potty training.

She has adjusted so well to using the big girl potty. It's been amazing. Once again, it proves that you can't go by "typical industry standards" with my girl - I go by her timing. She just wasn't ready back when we tried in December. But just a few short months later, and boom - just like that, we're done with the diapers. Amazing.

She loves wearing her "big girl panties" and has managed to learn how to get herself up on the big potty and do everything herself. I'm assuming that this is mostly due to her being in school. It really is quite funny to watch her jump up there and there have been a few times where she's fallen in...laughter galore!

She is now telling us that she needs "privacy" (ha!) and to please not come in.  I wonder if this will now work when we tell her the same thing?! (probably not!)

Before I dropped Maggie off to her room this morning, she said she needed to go potty. She went straight for the stall, turned around, closed the door and locked it ... it was a bit alarming to me. I didn't really like the idea of her locking herself in the stall, although it would be very easy for her to get out - I wasn't too sure how easy it would be for me to get in, should it come to that! Thankfully, she did her business, unlocked the door and away we went....such a big girl.

Now, I guess I shouldn't actually say no more diapers...as she does still wear a pull-up at night.  Funny thing was that I was actually going to keep her in a diaper at night because she is still a big wetter. But after the first day of pullups/panties, she refused to wear a diaper...and has done so ever since.  I guess when she's ready to move on, she's ready to move on.  So, she has "agreed" to wear a pull up at night and I'm sure that will still be a part of the routine for a while.

We're sooo proud of you, Maggie Joy. You're such a big girl now and you're doing a great job!

Pull up!

As you might recall, we attempted potty training a few months back. It didn't go too well. Despite the fact that most people think that a 3 year old should be well versed in potty training by this point, Maggie just wasn't ready. So, we didn't push. We just figured that she'd eventually be ready and she'd let us know when she was.

She is always willing to use the potty, if you ask her, and she always goes. She just wasn't able to tell us when she needed to go (a pretty important part!) and for some reason, just didn't want to let go of the diapers. I guess it was a safety for her. She knew that when you wear big girl panties, you have to use the potty all the time. She knew that you only went pee pee either in the potty or in a diaper.

In the past few weeks, she's been getting really agitated with her diapers. I knew that this was a good sign. Every time she was wet, she wanted to be changed right away. She was tugging and pulling with her diaper all the time. I knew it was just a matter of time. We were telling her that if she went pee pee on the potty, she wouldn't have to feel the wetness and her panties would always be dry. She seemed to like the idea.

When I got home from work on Monday, she was messing with the diaper again and I just said, if you want, you can try a pull-up and start using the potty like a big girl and then you don't have to mess with a diaper. She said "OK!" I've never moved faster...wanted to get that pull up on her before she could change her mind. We put the pullup on, left the pants off and she just went along her way. About 30 minutes later, Maggie came running in...Momma, gotta go potty....gotta go potty. So we rushed there, and she went. She continued to do this the rest of the night - no accidents! Yay :) Our caseworkers came over that night to sign the adoption placement papers, and she was running around in a tshirt and pull-up. They were really happy for her and helped join in the celebration each time she went! She certainly like the fan-fare!

Tuesday - she stays home with Michael on these days and he hoped that the excitement would continue. However, he was quickly dismissed when she said "No, Daddy. No pull-up. Momma's not here" Great! So, we've tackled it to a point but only if I'm there. He asked her through out the day, getting the same response. So, I figured as soon as I got home, I would try. Sure enough, she was willing to put on the pull-up and was successful all night.

The real test was the following morning (Wednesday) when she was to go to school. She woke up extra early for some reason and was in a great (hyper!) mood. I went in to get her and she said, "Mornin' Momma. Put pull up on?!" Sure thing sweetpea! So, we put the pullup on and got ready for the day. We talked about it all the way to school, and when we got to school, she went to the teachers and told them that she was wearing a pullup and was going to go pee pee on the potty. I was so proud. I brought lots of pull ups and 3 extra pair of pants (just trying to be cautious). I was anxious to see what she would look like when I went to pick her up and much to my surprise, she was still in the same outfit! Great success! Now, she was in a diaper at that point, but I honestly think it was because the afternoon extended care teachers didn't realize that she had moved over to pull ups. When I picked her up, she asked me to change her back into a pullup, which we did. We even hit the grocery store without accident.

So, I'm hopeful that we're making progress and moving towards no more diapers in the Thompson house (sure will be nice on the budget too!). Here's to another successful day for my sweet girl!

Dear Moms Like Me,

I know, it’s been one of those days. I have them too. Days when you feel like everything you thought you knew about being a mom, isn’t working. Days when you feel like you need to go back to “Mom School.” Days when you feel that surely someone else out there could mother your child better than you are right now. I know.


Here’s the bottom line. You’re it. You’re the one that’s there in the morning waiting to see if your child is going to wake up in a good mood or a bad mood. You’re the one that shakes your head because your child is hungry, crying for food, yet rejects everything you offer. You’re the one who cringes a tiny bit when you ask your child for a hug because you’re bracing yourself for being rejected again. You’re the one who is exhausted because it’s been one of those days where your child actually does want you- not only wants you, but won’t let you breath for a minute, and panics if you leave the room.

I was reminded recently that I need to view my child’s emotional limitations and woundedness the same way I would view a physical limitation or wound. I wouldn’t dream of getting upset with a paralyzed child for not being able to get up out of his wheelchair. I wouldn’t dream of yelling at a child with a crooked back because she can’t sit up straight. It’s sound ridiculous. And yet, because my child’s wound is hidden, I forget some moments, some days, that it is a wound indeed. It’s not my child’s fault that they were deprived of all the basic first needs of life- love, touch, words of affirmation, exercise, nutrition, peaceful sleep…. It’s just not her fault. My child is not out to get me. My child just doesn’t know how to love or be loved. My child doesn’t trust and struggles with fears that I may never truly understand.

The term “special needs” takes on a whole new meaning with an emotionally wounded child. Special needs like needing to say my name over and over and over again just to reassure herself that I am indeed “Momma.” Special needs like the need to push my buttons or repeat annoying behavior, just to see if I will reject her; because rejection is so familiar and for some crazy reason feels safe. Special needs like pressing herself hard into my body with an awkward, tense snuggle because she’s just learning how to snuggle and the sensation of being close to someone warm and safe is overwhelming. It’s good; It’s scary. I like it; It’s unfamiliar.

A wise man once told me, “Your weak love is better than no love at all.” (thanks Derek) I remind myself of this on those days when I feel like I just blew it all the way around. I didn’t really blow it. I was there. I held her. I fed her. I played. I may not have done it all perfectly, but who does. You’ve had those days too. Remember though, tomorrow is a new day. Another chance to stress less and love more. Another chance to see more clearly and not take it personally. Another chance to have a sense of humor instead of a meltdown.

Hey Moms like me, you’re doing it. It’s hard work. You’re not alone. You’re loving those who were once considered unlovable. You’re looking beyond what you see on the outside and not giving up until you find what on the inside. I’m really proud of us.

Much Love,

A Mom Who Knows

PS) You’re not alone. I promise.

shared by another fellow adoptive mom

Beautiful Weekend

We had fantastic weather this weekend and not too much planned, which meant that we could spend lots of time outside!  Maggie would live outside if we'd let her!  So, we definitely want to take advantage of the nicer weather before the summer hits (next month!)

On Saturday, we headed out to Nana & Dandy's house for an Eggstravaganza.  4 girls under the age of 7.  Whew. It's no wonder Dandy decided to work in the yard, while all the girls were inside ~ dying eggs, making bird nests out of rice krispie treats, coloring pictures, doing word searches, Easter egg hunts in the backyard and a few rounds of chase. Maggie had LOTS of fun with her cousins, Gabriela, Maya & Isabela. Here are a "few" of my favorite shots from our time together.

We were definitely (and I do mean WE) worn out from the afternoon of fun!  Got a good night's rest and woke up Sunday morning and headed out to the park. We got there before it was too crowded. It was a bit breezy but absolutely sunny!  Maggie had lots of fun feeding the ducks, turtles and nutria (oh how I hate those nasty things!)  Once the bread was gone, it was off to the slides and swings.

What a wonderful weekend with our sweet girl :)

Whoooo hoooo!

Adoption placement papers were signed tonight @ 5:30pm. Maggie is officially no longer in foster care!!!  Both CPS and H4G were here to have us sign documents needed by both parties.  It wasn't too painful, especially after the many years of paperwork, but there was still quite a bit to do.  Since we were approved for subsidy in March, we had to get the papers signed in March. It's the fastest turn-around time we've had yet :)

Now, all we have to do is get our court date scheduled & we will be done!  What a day of rejoicing that will be!

Maggie Joy Thompson....formerly known as

Tears flowing. Overwhelmed. Sure, we've written her name like this since July 2007, but never once has it been typed up on a legal document from someone else...MAGGIE JOY THOMPSON, formerly known as....

Whew. I can't even really put it into words. She has been ours since the moment we opened the door and her foster mom walked in with the tiniest 17 month old I'd ever seen. And there have been so many times when we've caught ourselves saying - wonder if she gets that from you or me (meaning me or Michael)...only to realize - duh...she's not biologically ours - it's not because of either of us. However, in the eyes of the state/law/system, she's not ours. She doesn't have our name, or her given name for that matter. It's like our child has a double personality ~ she's one person to us, and someone else completely different to the rest of the world.

This legal document that I'm referring to is the Adoption Subsidy Agreement...yes, that's right! Maggie was approved for subsidy. So what does that mean exactly? There are certain criteria that allow kids from the foster care system to keep and actually gain some benefits because of their time in foster care. It's what they consider special needs. This is not special needs defined like the majority of the world would see it. Here's the criteria for getting subsidy:

1. Child over the age of 5 - doesn't apply to Maggie
2. Part of a sibling group - doesn't apply to Maggie
3. Minority race - doesn't apply to Maggie

If you don't fall into one of those categories, there is also an "other" category that covers emotional, medical or physical needs. This is when you have to plead your case in hopes of getting the benefits. This is where we fit in. Due to Maggie's severe sleep apnea, we could try to qualify, since this is considered a "life long handicapping condition". This is why we were waiting forever for the letter from her doctor. Without the letter with these exact words, we would most definitely be denied. Everyone encouraged us to apply. We could always be denied and reapply at a later date, if anything ever changed. However, if you never apply, and the adoption is finalized and then something happens - you're just out of luck. So, we filled out all the paperwork, got the letter from the doctor, turned everything in and waited. Honestly, we didn't expect to be approved.

So, when someone new called me from CPS, my immediate thought was "oh great - are we getting another caseworker?"...but then she identified herself as the subsidy coordinator and she continued on to say that we had been approved for all benefits. I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" She laughed and said "no, ma'am. I'm serious". I just didn't expect to hear those words. But, I also thought that we were just applying to keep her medical benefits, only to find out that subsidy is all or nothing. So, Maggie was approved for all subsidy benefits, which includes:

1. Traditional Medicaid until the age of 18 - everything paid for.
2. College education paid for, as long as it's a Texas state school. And get this - it's UNLIMITED! She can get her Bachelors, Masters, PhD, go to law school, medical school - whatever...all paid for.
3. Adoption costs are covered in full and paid directly to our attorney. We do not have to even try to pay for it up front and wait to be reimbursed.

Overwhelmed. Seriously overwhelmed. God has been faithful...gone beyond what we ever thought we'd get. Needless to say, it was the best call I've ever received from CPS!!!

Paperwork has been received, signed and already sent back to CPS. Now, all we are waiting on is for our CPS caseworker to come out to the house to sign the adoption placement papers. She said it's quite the process and can take over an hour to get everything done....this is no surprise, after all the paperwork we've completed over the past 3 years. Once the paperwork is signed, we can contact our attorney to get our court date scheduled....and that, my friends, will be the end to this part of the journey.

We truly have been blessed with the sweetest blessing in Maggie Joy. She has brought more love, laughter, and joy than we could've ever imagined. We feel so privileged that God has seen fit to allow us to be her Momma & Daddy. We do not take this gift or responsibility lightly and pray each day, that our Heavenly Father will reveal to us exactly what we need to be the best parents to Maggie. It hasn't been easy....but look at her....she's been soooo worth it!

Maggie Joy Thompson, formerly known as....

So cute...and supporting a good cause, too!

As most of you know, Maggie loves LOVES owls...don't know how it all started or what triggered it, but she always manages to find something with owls on it...and of course, this Momma just HAS to buy it right?! :) So when a friend of mine told me that she found some owl material on another website, I had to go and check it out.

Please stop by and see Maggie modeling her two owl dresses, courtesy of Sallee @ poppy dip. Not only does my sweet girl look absolutely adorable but we were happy to help in supporting their adoption journey. And maybe you'll just find something that a little girl in your life just couldn't live without either :)

Happy Birthday, CC

Another year, another birthday. Another Crews get together. My grandmother's(Mimi) birthday is the day before mine, so we have always enjoyed celebrating our birthdays together. This year, we decided to venture out and meet up with everyone at Cheeburger Cheeburger (yummo!)

We had to wait a little bit for them to get seating set up for 18 people. So in the meantime, a little photo shoot took place with the girls. Bobby was hanging out with the men.

It was a beautiful sunny/windy day...can you tell?

(L to R: Maya, Cierra, Samantha, Isabela & Gabriela) Not sure where Maggie was at the time, but no doubt running around somewhere!

Cousins! Isabela, Cierra, Maya, Gabriela, Maggie & Samantha

Isabela checking something out

Maya messing around

Samantha checking things out

Nana with one of her many monkeys (Gabriela)

More monkeys ~ Samantha, Isabela & Maya

That's one cute monkey!

Yummy cake

There is never a shortage of help in blowing out the candles!

This sweet girl is always smiling! :)

We had a great time celebrating ~ if you don't count when Maggie projectile vomitted all over the table (thankfully before the food arrived) and we had to rush her home to get her cleaned up. Thankfully Daddy stayed with Maggie and Momma came back up to enjoy her birthday dinner and cake. Don't know what happened but she was ok the rest of the day. She was sad to leave all her cousins. She has so much fun playing with all of them. It was sad for me, too, because she was actually behaving, listening and doing such a great job in all the chaos! Oh well, I'm pretty sure that there will be another Crews birthday get-together soon enough!

Impromptu photo shoot

It was such a beautiful sunny day yesterday, so Maggie & I went outside for a bit...and an impromptu photo shoot took place.

My sweet little girl isn't looking so little anymore!

Hard to believe that this time last year she barely had any hair! Don't you just love the owl clip?

Strike a pose!

Oh how I love this girl!